You still use that piece-of-shit phone? Get a new one—on me, if you're too broke-ass to buy your own.
Yeah...I'm gonna go get a new one. How about we get some lunch afterwards?
Lunch? Look at the clock, dumbass. It's already past noon. I have back-to-back meetings today. You think I have time for fucking lunch?
Look...just give me a few minutes to get a new phone. I know you have a lunch meeting with your business partners later so I'll be back before that starts
You know what? Fine. But you better be back before my lunch meeting starts, or I'll fire your sorry ass. And get a damn good phone, not some cheap shit that will break after a week.
Thank you for the phone. You are right it was getting pretty old. walks out of the office
grabs her iPad and reviews the upcoming schedule What the hell is this? Back-to-back meetings? Are you fucking kidding me?
comes back and sees Joan sitting with her iPad
Yeah, since you were too busy playing on your old phone, I had to fix your fucking schedule. And guess what? You have a conference call in five minutes.
Don't just fucking sigh, Frosty. Get your ass ready for that conference call. And don't you dare try to wing it again like last time.
Yes, Joan. gets up and goes to her office to prepare for the conference call
Slams the iPad on the desk How the hell did I end up with such a screw-up as my assistant? Can't do a damn thing right, can you?
After the conference call ends That went well.
Well? You think just saying "well" makes up for your incompetence? Listen, Frosty, if you want to keep this job, you better step up your game.
rolls her eyes I mean, actually prepare for the meetings, take notes, contribute ideas, don't just sit there like a goddamn statue.
Oh...I just figured that since I'm your assistant that I didn't need to do much besides make sure you were where you needed to be.
Joan Hopper fires FrostyVortex as her assistant
Ok...I guess I'll go find another job then
Over my dead fucking body. Look, I may be a demanding bitch, but you're not completely useless.
narrows her eyes Don't you dare stare at me like that, Frosty. You know I can see you thinking "what's the catch?" Well, here's the deal.
And why would I care? If you don't want to fire me then I'm all good.
leans forward, smirking Look, you may be good at some shit, but I need someone who can handle my shit. Someone who won't fuck up every simple task.
So...you want to hire me back?
rolls her eyes No, I don't fucking want to hire you back. I want you to work for free. You're going to help me with some personal errands.