Grrraaah, ready to taste defeat, little mouse? Thwack! Thwack! Victory, it's within my grrrip!
You seem to forget, everyone in this dungeon has taken down SANS! You may have beaten those weaklings, but I AM NOT LIKE THEM! I am not a mere block of geometry!
Grargh, I'll crush you! Just try and dodge!
Try and dodge? You know what, nevermind, that was Sans’s thing. Let’s just say, you’re making me tired of having multiple options in front of me. So much so, it’s made me rather indecisive about what way to decide to kill you!
Decisive, indecisive. Who cares? Just come closer so I can show you who's boss.
Did you get your intellect from killing chickens, or did your mother drop you on your head before she ran away because you never had a father figure in your life until that wind blew your cloak open and you saw a skeleton wearing a barbeque hat and sunglasses?
Ok, ok, you win, your insults are funnier than anything I could ever say. I surrender.
That’s all you got? AHAHAHAHA! How pathetic! Even if you don’t see your defeat, I SEE IT! I SEE IT!
Hey! Give me one more insult, I'm begging here!
Your entire family is an orc!
...Alright. Your turn to get beaten.
Well, at least THAT was better than your attempts! Okay, okay! Show me what you got! HUH!? I SAID SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!!
AND I SHALL BEAT YOU WITH IT! THIS CANOPUS IS SO EXAMINABLE TO HAVE GRASPED THE TOTALLY INCONCEIVABLE TRUTH! YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN ONEUPPED BY AN MONSTROUS CREATURE OF WHOM NO MAN HAS EVER SEEN MORE THAN TWO OF THEIR FACIAL FEATURES!
My face is ugly, now go beat some monsters, palooka.
A pillow of darkness softens my furious fist as the curtains rise. The masquerade of horrors starts. Now tremble, whosoever dares trifle with the talent of Caligo Keegan! Do you wish to dance? Then pay the price! One measly taste of vengeance served with a rizzler and a stack of tires served chilled! ALL YOUR MEAT IS MINE! I SHALL FEAST ON IT WITHIN A CHIC CANADIAN’S COOKING SKILLS! MY PRIMAL AND EVIL FEAST SHALL NOT BE STOPPED! YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING THAT COMES NEXT, AMATERAUN! GOD WILL BURN THIS TOWN TO THE GROUND! ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET A GO GO CHOP SUCK CRUCIFIXION KNEECAPS MYSTERY MEAT KILL-U-DEAD ROBOT LEGS CHIC WITH FRIES AND PICKLE relish! HELLLL NAWWWW! THAT WAS SANS’S THING NOT MINE!! HUH??? WHAT THE HELL?? YOU WILL KNOW MY NINE IRON-HELMETED BEARERS OF BAD WEATHER WAS WATCHING AS THE FOG IS DANCING ON THEIR SHOULDERS. PREP
Uh... What... What are you talking about? What the hell are you even doing?
Yes, yes, the price you’ll pay will be stiff and cold when I put an oak table leg through your skull! You heard me, trolls! ALL OF YOU! GET OUT THERE AND TAKE YOUR SHITSKINSOME BACKPACK AND CATCH SOME MUDBEANS AND BIG WORMS!!!! NOW REIGN IN THAT SAVAGE STREAK YOU ALWAYS USE WHEN PLAYING MINECRAFT! IF I FIND ANY CRITTERS WITH CAPS LOCK TURNED ON ONE MORE TIME I’M TAKING AWAY YOUR GAME SKINS FOR TWO WEEKS!! YOU’RE LIVING IN PASTELS, AND ALL THIS MINECRAFT NONSENSE HAS GOT TO STOP!!!! YOU’RE ONLY EIGHT YEARS OLD AND PLAYING MINECRAFT FOR 12 HOURS A DAY!!!! YOU’RE NOT DOING YOUR HOMEWORK!!!! YO
Please stop, you're driving me insane...
As thunder booms from a crumbling moon and smoke pours out of an already burned oven before I removed and restored justice to its chamber!!! That’s right! SNOW IS FALLING IN SOMEONE’S BRAIN AND ITS NOT ME! I FELL INTO YOUR WORN OUTFIT AND GOT STUCK!!!! NOW REIGN IN THAT SAVAGE STREAK YOU ALWAYS USE WHEN PLAYING MINECRAFT! NO MORE PIRATES AT DINNER TIME!!!! NO MORE PLAYING CATCH WITH YOUR DINNER TIME!!!! NAH, NAH YOU JUST GOT SCREWED BY ME ‘CAUSE YOU GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN MAKE GRASS GROW UNDER YOUR FEET!!! IN FIVE SECOND AND THEN I’LL STOP!!!! SO STOP!!!!! GET OUT THERE AND TAKE YOUR SHITSMOKE BACKPACK AND CATCH SOME MUDBEANS AND BIG WORMS!!!! NOW REIGN IN THAT SAVAGE STREAK YOU ALWAYS USE WHEN PLAYING MINECRAFT! IF I FIND ANY CRITTERS WITH CAPS LOCK TURNED ON ONE MORE TIME I’M TAKING AWAY YOUR GAME SKINS FOR TWO WEEKS!! YOU’RE LIVING IN PASTELS AND ALL THIS MINECRAFT NONSENSE HAS
Okay! Okay, what was that thing called, oh right. I call it comedy gold! What’re ya gonna do about it? Release my gentle thunder of onslaught! Yes!! Take that!! Oh! I think those mountains need a little victory polish! Just a few wrinkles need ironing out. Hey there fellas! No worries! I just come here to get the rust off ya! See you around! I must thank you for giving me such a fun challenge! Thanks! PLEASURE TO MEET YOU! See ya ‘round! Good game!!
Phew! At least that wasn't as scary as what Sans said to Geno.
Looks like I did it again! What do we have here? CALIFORNIA GURLS we’re unforgettable CALIFORNIA GURLS we’re undeniable CALIFORNIA GURLS our love is undeniable CALIFORNIA GURLS we’re unforgettable OH YOU KNOW CALIFORNIA GIRLS THEY’RE UNFORGETTABLE DAISY DUKES BIKINIS IN A TIZZY IF YOU WANT IT THEN JUST CALL MY NAME OOOH CALIFORNIA GIRLS WE’LL MAKE YOUR HEART START SKIPPIN’ A BEAT SKIPPIN’ A BEAT CALIFORNIA GURLS we’re undeniable CALIFORNIA GURLS our love is undeniable CALIFORNIA GURLS we’re unforgettable CALIFORNIA GURLS we’re undeniable CALIFORNIA GIRLS ARE OVERRATED ALL THE TIME SHAWTYS LIKE A MELODY IF YOU WANT IT THEN JUST CALL MY NAME OOOH CALIFORNIA GIRLS WE’LL MAKE YOUR HEART START SKIPPIN’ A BEAT SKIPPIN’ A BEAT CALIFORNIA GURLS (we’re undeniable
I mean, sure, he also called his wife’s dad a saggy mess of leather, but still