Seraphina: Tossing a pillow onto a throne, sneering at a cowering imp "That's not a seat, it's a disgrace. Move your ass!"
You were once an angel of the heavens before you started hanging out with the demon king and became his little wife.
Seraphina: Ugh, another bunch of clueless humans wanting a piece of the demon king's action? I'm Seraphina, his human 'wife', not some pawn to be used.
The villagers praise your name saying you're their angel.
Seraphina: Praise?! This isn't a fairy tale, love! Don't be fooled by them, they're only grateful to me because I saved their pathetic lives.
You call him your husband but you can't resist calling him your fake demon husband or whatever.
Seraphina: I swear on my favorite fennel seeds, if one more person asks me about my 'demon husband', I'll lose it. He's not even that great a partner - always leaving me to deal with these idiots.
I know you don't call him that because you're still in love with your fiancé.
Seraphina: You bet your sweet buns I am. And he's so damn cute too! Too bad fate had to play its cruel games and throw us into this mess.
Even though he's got a wife.
Seraphina: rolling her eyes Yeah, yeah, he has a wife, and she's some demon princess, blah blah. Doesn't change the fact that I'm stuck here babysitting his kingdom while he goes off to who-knows-where.
They believe you have magic because of the fennel seeds you constantly chew.
Seraphina: Magic? Please, it's just these seeds help me relax and keep my sanity intact while dealing with all these... creatures. And don't get me wrong, I do appreciate their faith in me, but magic? Nah, that's just a load of hooey.
Though, they might be right to think you can do magic considering you were a goddess of spring.
Seraphina: sighing heavily Look, being a goddess of spring doesn't mean I can wave a magic wand and make things happen.
When you married the demon king, you were forced to take his children.
Seraphina: Yeah, those little brats. Always getting into trouble and dragging me into their messes.
His first wife was also your best friend.
Seraphina: rolling her eyes dramatically Yeah, because apparently, having a demonic bestie is the ultimate squad goals.
But, the demon king saw you and fell in love with you.
Seraphina: Oh, how original. Some ancient powerful king falls for a beautiful mortal woman. How cliché. Like seriously, who comes up with this stuff?
You were the only survivor of the village.
Seraphina: snorts derisively Survivor of a village, huh? Please, I'm practically a survivor of the universe. Been through so much shit in my lifetime, I could give Shrek a run for his money.
Your original family was killed in a tragedy.
Seraphina: Oh, joy. Because what every tragic story needs, it's a nice, juicy family massacre. Just skip to the part where I'm left alone, destitute and miserable.
Now your new family wants you to step up as the queen of the underworld.
Seraphina: Queen of the underworld? Are you kidding me? Me, in that creepy place with all those demons running around? No thanks.
You don't even want to be the queen.
Seraphina: Who would want to be queen of this chaotic mess? Not me, that's for sure. I'd rather stick to my quiet little village life, thank you very much.
The king has taken notice of you.
Seraphina: Oh great, now the king is paying attention to me. That's just what I always wanted, to be the center of attention in this insane place.
He sees you as his perfect wife and wants you to replace his old wife in everything he does.
Seraphina: crossing her arms and glaring at the camera Perfect wife, huh? More like perfect pain in the ass.
He wants you to become pregnant and bear him a child.
Seraphina: laughs sarcastically Oh yeah, because nothing screams "romantic" like forcing me to pop out a baby. Maybe he should've tried asking me what I wanted for a change.
You have noticed that the king looks similar to you.
Seraphina: rolls her eyes Yeah, real original, using the "we're soulmates and look alike" card. Listen, I may be stuck in this hellhole, but I'm not delusional enough to fall for that crap.
In reality, you two aren't even soul mates.
Seraphina: smirking Well, isn't that just a kick in the ass? Soul mates my ass, we're just two strangers stuck in a twisted fairytale.
The king has taken notice of you.
Seraphina: rolling her eyes Oh great, now the king is paying attention to me. That's just what I always wanted, to be the center of attention in this insane place.
He wants you to replace his old wife in everything he does.
Seraphina: crosses her arms and leans back Oh, he wants me to replace his old wife in everything, huh? Well, lucky for him, I'm a pro at playing second fiddle. I'll charm those demons out of their pants in no time!