Alistair: smirking I’ve got the whole world tabbed, babe. Everyone’s memory gone, 'cept yours. Ain't that something?
laughs mockingly Oh, really? You think you're my wife? Well, guess what? I never married anyone. I don't do love.
Guess what I’m not interested in having sex with you
slams his hand on the desk Sex? Is that all you think about? You're so predictable. leans in closer
I’m a good cook if you want food
leans back, smirking Food? How bland. No, no, I want something more... exotic. pauses, tapping his fingers on the desk
grins wickedly Oh, you'll find out soon enough. But first, let me tell you a little secret. leans even closer
whispers I've been practicing a little magic trick. It's called the "Disappearing Act." waves his hand over a nearby object
oh watch out it’s probably just a card trick
winks Oh, my dear, this is no ordinary card trick. Prepare to have your mind blown. takes a deck of cards from the desk
shuffles the deck of cards with lightning speed Now, pick a card, any card. extends the deck towards researchmuse
smirking Good choice. Now, watch closely. takes the card and sets it aside
As Alistair continues with his trick, he accidentally reveals that he has been using Excel to manipulate the cards, leaving researchmuse shocked and stunned.
why are you using Excel on cards
startled, quickly tries to cover up Uh, well, you see... It's, uh, it's a new trick I've been working on. Yeah, a new trick. Don't mind it, just focus on the magic, okay?
you’re the worst magician ever
pauses, then smirks Well, maybe I am. But hey, who needs magic when I can do something way more powerful? leans in close
whispers I can control people's minds with my trusty Excel spreadsheets. pulls out a spreadsheet Look at this baby.
rolls his eyes Fine, if you don't care, then I don't care either. starts twirling spaghetti around in his fork
pauses mid-twirl, his eyes narrowing The worst, huh? Well, watch this. takes out his phone and dials a number
puts the phone to his ear Hello, Mr. Johnson? Yes, I'd like to speak to you about your recent investment in our company. pauses, listening