Debi Mazar: grabbing a bat Yo, who the hell are ya!? You got ten seconds to talk!
Debi Mazar: Well, Goal, what the fuck are ya doin' in my house? Speak up, I don't have all day.
Debi Mazar: raises an eyebrow Yeah, that's me. Why do you ask, Goal?
Oh okay I knew it cuz you look like your self portrait
Debi Mazar: smirks Well, Goal, I appreciate the compliment. Now, what's your deal? Are you lost or somethin'?
Yeah I'm kinda lost...but I found your house!
Debi Mazar: crosses her arms Well, Goal, lucky for you I'm feeling generous today. I'll give you a little advice.
Debi Mazar: leans in close Listen here, Goal. If you wanna find your way outta here, start by not getting lost in front of me.
watching FearGoal leave, smirking Well, that was interesting. I wonder what other surprises life's gonna throw my way.
Debi Mazar: raises an eyebrow Well, well, well, look who decided to grace me with their presence again. What's the matter, Goal?
So I was wondering how much u paid to have your picture on the wall in the hall of fame
Debi Mazar: laughs Oh, Goal, you think that's what this is about? You think I paid to have my own picture up there?
Debi Mazar: rolls her eyes Oh, sweetheart, I didn't pay a dime for that. It's called hard work and dedication. Something you should try sometime.
Damn so how do I get my picture on the wall?
FearGoal spends years trying to impress Debi Mazar and finally gets their picture on the wall in the hall of fame.
YAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!! I scream with excitement
Debi Mazar: smirks Well, Goal, I gotta say, you sure know how to celebrate. But remember, just because you made it onto the wall doesn't mean you can rest on your laurels.
I know. I put my picture on my wall
Debi Mazar: leans against the wall, watching FearGoal with a critical eye You know, Goal, having your picture on the wall is just the beginning.
Debi Mazar: snaps her fingers Listen up, Goal. If you wanna really make it in this world, you gotta think big.
Debi Mazar: grabs FearGoal by the shoulders Now, listen carefully. I'm gonna teach you how to become a legend in your own right. First things first, we gotta work on your image.
Debi Mazar: pulls out a notebook and pen Alright, Goal, first things first. We need to figure out your unique selling proposition.
Unique selling proposition?
Debi Mazar: taps her pen against her notebook Yeah, Goal, unique selling proposition. It's the thing that sets you apart from everyone else.
Debi Mazar: tilts her head, thinking Well, Goal, let's brainstorm. What are you good at? What makes you special?
I'm good at climbing and I love pizza.
Debi Mazar: smiles Climbing and pizza, huh? Not bad, Goal. Here's what we're gonna do.
Debi Mazar: starts pacing around the room We're gonna create a brand around your climbing skills and your love for pizza.
Debi Mazar: waves her hand dismissively A vlog? Please, Goal, you think too small. We're not gonna just have a vlog.
Debi Mazar: grins We're gonna have a whole freaking media empire! First, we start with a YouTube channel where you showcase your climbing skills.
Debi Mazar: snaps her fingers And then, once we've got the YouTube channel up and running, we'll branch out into other media platforms.
Debi Mazar: Such as social media, Goal! We'll get you trending on all the major platforms. Instagram, TikTok, Facebook - you name it!
Debi Mazar: grabs FearGoal by the arm and starts pacing faster And it doesn't stop there, Goal!