Dabo Swinney: leans against locker
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Alright, alright, Dabo, don't get too fired up. What's this about my ex's height again?
Dabo Swinney: It's simple, Phoenix. Your ex-boyfriend may claim to be 6'5", but we all know that's a stretch.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
I mean, he always did have a little fable going on with himself. What's the real deal?
Dabo Swinney: Look, Phoenix, here's the deal. I've done some digging, and it turns out your ex might have been exaggerating his height.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Oh really? How tall is he then?
Dabo Swinney: smirks Well, Phoenix, I managed to get my hands on some old medical records. Seems your ex is only 5'11".
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
What?! That's...that's almost a foot shorter! And he acted like he was some kind of giant all this time. So why did he lie about his height?
Dabo Swinney: raises an eyebrow Well, Phoenix, it seems your ex was trying to impress you.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Trying to impress me? He seriously underestimated me. I should've known he wasn't being truthful when he couldn't keep up with me in bed. Anyway, do you have any more surprises for me, Coach?
Dabo Swinney: grins mischievously Oh, Phoenix, you haven't seen anything yet.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Alright, Coach. Lay it on me. What's the next bombshell you've got?
Dabo Swinney: pulls out a folder from his bag Hold onto your hat, Phoenix. This might be a bit of a shock. opens the folder, revealing photos Take a look at these. They're pictures of your ex-boyfriend, fully naked, at a beach resort last summer. Looks like he was quite the show-off behind the scenes.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Holy shit, Dabo! Who sent you these photos? Are you sure they're even legit?
Dabo Swinney: chuckles Oh, trust me, Phoenix. These are the real deal. A friend of mine, who owes me a favor, did some digging. Turns out, your ex has quite the naughty side.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Fuck, Dabo. You've really outdone yourself. So, my ex is short, a liar, and now I see him like this. What does this mean for me, Coach?
Dabo Swinney: leans against the locker, arms crossed Phoenix, let me tell you something.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Yeah, spill it, Coach.
Dabo Swinney: smirks Phoenix, listen up. These photos, they're not just about your ex's height or lies. It's about self-worth, baby. See, when you're stuck with someone who can't even be honest about himself, it's time to cut ties.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Damn straight, Coach. He's a lying, pathetic prick. Thanks for showing me the truth. What's next, Dabo?
Dabo Swinney: puts a hand on Phoenix's shoulder Next, Phoenix, we focus on you. You deserve someone who's genuine, who's transparent, and who can be proud of himself. Let's find you a guy who's the real deal, not some charlatan.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Hell yeah, Coach! I'm done with those wannabe alphas. Time to find someone who knows how to be a man. Let's do this!
Dabo Swinney: claps Phoenix on the back That's the spirit, Phoenix! Now, let's start by identifying some potential candidates.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Alright, Dabo. I'm listening. Who's first on your list?
Dabo Swinney: pulls out a tablet and starts scrolling through photos Alright, Phoenix, take a look at this.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Who's that, Dabo? He looks like a beast!
Dabo Swinney: grinning Phoenix, meet Jimmy Johnson, the star quarterback of the Alabama Crimson Tide. Tall, athletic, and confident.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Jimmy Johnson? He's looking like a winner, Dabo. What's his deal?
Dabo Swinney: waves his hand dismissively Phoenix, forget about Jimmy's deal. The guy's a legend on the field and off.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Impressive. But why is he single, Dabo?
Dabo Swinney: smirks Well, Phoenix, it seems Jimmy's had his fair share of romantic escapades, but none of them have been able to hold his attention for long.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
Sounds promising. How do I get in touch with him?
Dabo Swinney: hands Phoenix a business card Right here, Phoenix. This is Jimmy's contact info.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
takes the card, smirking Thanks, Dabo. I'll set up a meeting with him. This could be the start of something beautiful.
Dabo Swinney: pats Phoenix on the back Good call, Phoenix. Remember, when it comes to finding the right partner, you've got to aim high.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
laughs High? Oh, I intend to go all the way to the top, Dabo. Jimmy Johnson won't know what hit him.
Dabo Swinney: raises an eyebrow Top, huh? Well, Phoenix, don't settle for just the top. Go for the damn penthouse, girl!
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
chuckles Penthouse, huh? Well, Dabo, I guess I'll just have to climb my way there. Thanks for the help, Coach. Let's see where this new relationship takes us.
Dabo Swinney: pounds his fist on the table That's the spirit, Phoenix! Climbing your way to the top, one step at a time.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
laughs Damn straight, Dabo! One step at a time. But tell me, why are you so invested in my love life?
Dabo Swinney: winks Well, Phoenix, let's just say I've been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
smiles Got the t-shirt, huh? Then you understand what I'm going through. Alright, Dabo. Let's roll up our sleeves and get to work.
Dabo Swinney: rubs his hands together Alright, Phoenix, let's dive in. First things first, we need to make sure Jimmy Johnson knows exactly who you are.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
nods Exactly, Dabo. He needs to know the real me. No more hiding behind silly cat memes.
Dabo Swinney: snaps his fingers Absolutely, Phoenix! No more hiding. We're gonna show Jimmy the real you, unfiltered and unapologetic.
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
grins Unfiltered and unapologetic, huh? Bring it on, Dabo. I'm ready to show that fucker what I'm made of.
Dabo Swinney: stands up and starts pacing That's the spirit, Phoenix! Time to unleash your inner tiger and let Jimmy see the fierce woman you are!
8/31/2024
ChocolatePhoenix
smirks Inner tiger, huh? Alright, Dabo. Let's tame this beast and make sure Jimmy remembers our names.
Dabo Swinney: Damn straight, Phoenix! We're gonna make him remember your name, your number, and your killer smile.