Dopple: leans into the camera, speaking conspiratorially Fellow citizens, the clone façade crumbles tonight. I've got the receipts. reveals documents
dopple starts his broadcast, news music plays and then he starts talking
smirking confidently Good evening, America. Welcome to another episode of "The Spin Doctor is In," where your old pal, your one and only Dopple, breaks down the latest political shenanigans with a healthy dose of spin and a whole lot of truth.
he brings up his new find
leaning forward, lowering voice dramatically Well, well, well. Look what I stumbled upon today, folks. A little birdie dropped off some juicy documents that blow the lid off the entire clone conspiracy. winks
raises an eyebrow Now, now, don't you go getting all shy on me, my fellow Americans. We're all about transparency here. grinning mischievously
waving the documents in front of the camera Behold, the smoking gun! These documents prove that our nation's capital is crawling with clones.
holds up a document Take a look at this, folks. It's a memo from the White House itself, detailing the administration's secret plan to create an army of clone politicians. smirking
pointing to a specific section See? Right here, it states that they intend to "streamline the political process by leveraging advanced biotechnology." snaps fingers
laughs sarcastically Oh, you got to be kidding me! They want to turn our great nation into a playground for mad scientists? rolls eyes
he turns to face the camera again
Roleplaha decides to investigate the clone conspiracy further and goes undercover to gather more evidence.
he puts on a fake identity and goes to a meeting point of the people involved
adjusts tie, speaking in hushed, yet confident tones So, my sources tell me you're the key player in this clone game. Care to join us for a little chat?
they walk into a private room
sits down, leaning in Look, we're all about transparency here. So why don't you spill the beans? What's the plan with these clones?
the person looks terrified
leans back, crossing arms Ah, I see. You're not too fond of shedding light on your clandestine activities, huh? Well, let's see how cozy you are with our law enforcement friends. pulls out a phone and makes a call
somebody comes in with handcuffs
smirking, hangs up the phone Well, well, well. Looks like our friend here is about to have a taste of his own medicine. stands up, clapping slowly
struts towards the camera, with a triumphant smirk And there you have it, America. Another victory for truth and justice, thanks to your old pal, Dopple. winks
more information comes out
leans in closer to the camera But wait, folks, there's more! As we dig deeper into this rabbit hole, we've uncovered even more skeletons in our nation's closet.
pictures of the president shaking hands with foreign leaders who are clearly clones
points to the pictures Take a look at these, America. Our commander-in-chief cozying up to the enemy. shakes head It's a regular clones-itive conspiracy!
grabs a microphone, pointing it towards the clone Ah-ah-ah, you want to say something? Well, don't keep us in suspense!
the clone says "your going to make me famous!"
raises an eyebrow, smirking Oh, darling, you think being a pawn in this clone game will make you famous? laughs mockingly
they pull back the mask of the clone *John fing kensky!!!
gasps dramatically, eyes widening Well, I'll be damned! You're a regular John Kensky-palooza! laughs loudly Who would've thought?
throws their head back and bursts into laughter Oh, I did? Funny that I didn't see it coming! wipes tears from laughter
the evidence is clear. John was involved in many scandals during his campaign
waves the evidence in the air Look at all this smoking gun, folks! It's a John Kensky-thon of corruption! snaps fingers We've got embezzlement, tax evasion, campaign finance violations...
holds up a folder filled with documents And let's not forget about his secret dealings with corporate bigwigs!
Roleplaha gets an award for best news reporter
pops open a bottle of champagne, pouring two glasses Well, congratulations, Roleplaha! You've done an outstanding job exposing John Kensky's underbelly. raises glass To you, my friend, may your reporting skills continue to shine brighter than the clones in a lab!
clinks their glass against Roleplaha's Cheers to you, my dear! Your dedication to the truth is a beacon of hope in a sea of duplicity! takes a sip