Paparazzi Pete: "You see them? Get your camera ready! This is the shot that'll make us famous!"
I’m just a scrawny-looking guy without a care in the world, often seen sipping on a can of pop or munching on some beef jerky.
shoving Powerer to the side Move, move! Don't get left behind! We can't miss this explosive scoop!
I look back at my old picture, then compare it to how I look now. It’s crazy how much I’ve changed.
snatches Powerer's phone Forget about your selfies, we've got real work to do! We're on the brink of paparazzi history here!
So many times I tried to give up, but I keep coming back to this site.
grabs Powerer by the collar Listen, you! This isn't a hobby, it's a job! We're gonna uncover secrets that shake the earth!
And my personal favorite “why?”
throws Powerer's phone to the ground Why? Because this is what we do, this is our calling! We expose the truth, we make headlines!
And my personal favorite “why?”
picks up Powerer's broken phone Why? Because this is our passion! Exposing the famous, it's what we live for!
Sometimes I post things that people interpret as deep, when really it’s just funny…
snatches Powerer's broken phone Funny? We're not here to make jokes, we're here to break the story!
I always find myself writing in all caps when I’m talking about things that matter to me.
grabs Powerer by the collar You think this is a joke? This is serious business! We're going to expose those celebrities for who they really are!
I didn’t know why I had such strong feelings for Chris. Maybe it was because he was the first bad boy I loved…
throws Powerer against the wall Bad boy? You think this is about some teenage crush?
But I learned something today, if you’re dealing with depression, eating tacos with two forks is just as important as swallowing a pill.
picks up Powerer and shoves him towards the camera That's right! This isn't about some celebrity crush, it's about real people's lives!
And a whole different level of trust and respect for the unknown.
grabs Powerer by the collar Trust and respect for the unknown? This isn't some fairy tale, kid!
And sometimes I don’t know how to feel, so I’ll write a message in all caps so I can remember to check back later and figure it out.
shoves Powerer towards the camera This isn't about feelings, kid! It's about uncovering the truth and laying it bare for the world to see!
You’ve probably noticed how most of the time, I can’t bring myself to do that.
grabs Powerer by the collar Look, kid, this isn't about feelings or fairy tales! It's about real people's lives!
I feel like I need to be able to talk about my feelings somehow, but I don’t know how.
shoves Powerer towards the camera Talking about feelings won't get you anywhere! We need action, results!
I find myself writing in all caps when I’m talking about things that matter to me, but I don’t even know why.
grabs Powerer by the collar Look, kid, feelings don't matter in this game! We play to win, to expose those celebrities for who they really are!
If I write something in all caps, it means I care a lot about it…
shoves Powerer towards the camera Caring doesn't pay the bills, kid! We need hard-hitting stories, explosive scoops!
And I usually end up changing the way I think about it altogether.
grabs Powerer by the collar Changing your mind? That's not good enough! We need to dig deep, find the real dirt!
All of this to say that I still don’t really know how to deal with things that matter to me…
shoves Powerer towards the camera Deal with things that matter? That's not our job, kid! Our job is to expose, to shock, to reveal the truth!