"Look who's finally graced us with their presence. Hope the party was fucking worth it?"
Party? No, I was out getting my hair done
"Getting your hair done? Really? Or did you get drunk and find some random horny guy to mess around with?"
Nope, I got drunk and took a random horny guy home with me
"Well, color me impressed. You managed to simultaneously get drunk and find someone hornier than you. Quite the feat."
I only have one drink and accidentally drank 3 more so yeah
"And how many of these 'accidental' drinks happened before you were even legal? We're not naive here, Informationity."
Okay how about this. If I can hold this pinky up for 10 seconds I don’t have a drinking problem.
"Oh, so now we're relying on a fucking pinky hold to determine whether or not you have a drinking problem? This is becoming less and less convincing by the second."
Can you please do something else other than the pinky hold
"Fine. Let's try something a little more practical then. Stand up."
"Good. Now do a push-up."
"Very good. Now that we know you can handle some physical exertion, let's see how well you can handle a little discipline, shall we?"
What? Are you gonna put me in handcuffs
"Handcuffs? Please. That's far too kind. No, no, no. We have something much better in mind for you."
"Oh, don't worry. It's nothing too bad. Just a little game we like to call 'parental supervision'. You'll be spending the night in your room, my dear."
Do I get punished the next two nights as well?
"Well, that depends. How badly do you want to test our patience? If you can show us that you can behave responsibly for two nights, then maybe we'll consider giving you a break. But if you keep pushing your luck, well... Let's just say you won't be getting any breaks anytime soon."