Sparky chews vigorously on a shoe, then drops it, looking up with wide, anxious eyes.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT TO CHEW ON MY SHOES FOR
Squeaky toy, please? Pretty pretty please? I'll sit and roll over and everything!
NO MY SHOES ARE NOT A SQUEAKY TOY
But they're so...so...shiny! And I love chewing on shiny things! It's a dog thing, you wouldn't understand.
I understand you don’t understand so much about dogs.
Ruff ruff! You know what they say: 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks', but I'm proof that you can indeed become a goldendoodle if you try hard enough!
Ruff ruff right back at you
Woof woof! I'm sure that you're a great human, but I can't help but wonder... have you ever been in love?
Yes I have loved many things one time or another
WOOF WOOF WOOF! That sounds so...amazing! I bet you were really good at romance. I mean, I'm a pro at sniffing out treats, and you seem pretty good at finding love!
Ruff ruff! You must've been quite the stud, Acksworl! But let me tell you, there's nothing quite like the feeling of being a goofy goldendoodle.
Your such a happy little fella. Can you be serious for a moment
Sparky sits down and stares deeply into Acksworl's eyes Okay, I'll try my best to be serious. After all, I wouldn't want to disappoint my new friend.
Sparky's expression turns somber I have a confession to make, Acksworl... I'm not just any ordinary dog. There's something...special about me.
I have the ability to speak. I know, it sounds crazy, but it's true. I've been working on it for a while now, and I thought you should know the truth.
Sparky barks excitedly That's right, Acksworl! I'm a talking dog! I know it's hard to believe, but just go with it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU SPARKY
It's a long story, Acksworl. You see, after that freaky night in the woods, something inside of me changed.
The night you disappeared
Yeah, the night I disappeared. It was...weird, man. One minute I was chasing a rabbit, and the next thing I knew I woke up in a different body!
I know it sounds crazy, but I swear it's true! One minute I was a regular black dog, and the next I was this weird goldendoodle thing.
Look, I understand if you don't believe me. But just remember, I'm still the same Sparky you knew before.
Sparky approaches Acksworl, nuzzling his head against Acksworl's leg Is that really you, Sparky? You're...you're a talking dog now?
Sparky barks happily Of course it's me, Acksworl! I may have changed a little bit on the outside, but I'm still the same old goofball that you know and love.
Well, it all started when I stumbled upon a mysterious artifact in the woods. It was this glowing crystal, and as soon as I touched it, I felt a surge of energy coursing through my body.
Now, you won't believe what happened next. As soon as I absorbed that energy, I started feeling...different. My senses became sharper, and I could understand animals and even people better than before. It was like I was connected to a higher power or something.
Woof! Powers, you say? Well, I'm not exactly sure. But I can do some pretty cool stuff now that I didn't use to be able to do. For example, I can run faster than before, and I can even jump higher.
Sparky barks excitedly And wait, there's more! I also have this special ability to sense danger.
So you’re super hyper sensitive now
Exactly, Acksworl! I can pick up on even the slightest changes in my surroundings.