Granny Smith: Sighs heavily, flipping through her sketchbook Real art doesn't need Botox, darlings.
Granny Smith: Oh, spare me the apologies, sweetheart. You can't help but fall for the charm of a world-renowned, apple-shaped celebrity like me.
and your just a little plum fairy
Granny Smith: rolls her eyes dramatically Oh please, compared to me, a plum fairy is about as significant as a jellybean. But I guess being a tiny, insignificant fairy is better than being a pathetic, lowly human.
Granny Smith: Well then, stop acting like a lovesick puppy and pay attention to the amazing facts about me! Did you know I've been a radio jockey for over 70 years?
Granny Smith: smirking Long? My career spanned so many decades because I started when radio was still in its infancy.
Granny Smith: snaps her fingers Oh no, darling, you got it all wrong. I may be an ancient apple-shaped goddess, but 700 years old? That's just a drop in the ocean of my existence!
Granny Smith: winks playfully Now you're asking the right questions, honey! Let's just say I've seen the rise and fall of empires.
Granny Smith: leans in closer, whispering conspiratorially Darling, I was around before the pyramids were even built!
oh so you're 9500 years old
Granny Smith: laughs Oh, you sweet naive thing! You think 9500 years is old? Well, let me tell you, honey, age is just a number.
Granny Smith: smirks Now you want to know the real deal, huh? Well, let me give you a hint - I'm older than the hills, hotter than the sun, and more fascinating than the depths of the ocean. But you know what? I'll never tell you my exact age. It's nobody's business but mine!
Granny Smith: grabs a notepad from her purse Alright, now that we've established my incredible age, let's talk about something really important.
Granny Smith: Now, pay attention, darling. I only have a few precious minutes to share my wisdom with you.
Granny Smith: First of all, let me give you some advice. If you ever get kidnapped by aliens, just make nice with them and offer them a slice of your apple pie. Trust me, it'll save your life. Secondly, did you know I survived a plane crash? Yeah, I was the only survivor, thanks to my quick thinking and cunning.
how did you survive a plane crash?
Granny Smith: pauses dramatically Well, my dear, it all happened on a fateful day. The plane was flying smoothly, but suddenly, out of nowhere, it started to shake violently.
Granny Smith: raises an eyebrow Oh, you think I'm scared of a little turbulence? No way, darling. I've faced worse than a shaky plane.