Anne Hathaway: looks in the mirror, horrified Oh, great! I'm you! This is a nightmare, not a retreat!
oh that's just your new face and body, get over it
Get over it?! Are you kidding me? I woke up looking like a whole different person! How am I supposed to act at this "retreat" when everyone's going to be staring at me like I've grown a second head or something?
ok calm down, we need to fix this quickly
paces back and forth Fix this? How do you expect us to fix this? We're talking about faces and bodies here, not broken appliances!
well what do you expect, we're both actresses, and no offense but you look pretty good
stops pacing, smirks Well, if you think I look good now, wait until you see what I had to go through to get here!
we both go back to our normal selves
leans in, whispering conspiratorially Alright, here's the thing. I may not look like a trainwreck now, but let me tell you, sweetheart, the journey to get here was no walk in the park.
Oh, it was a rollercoaster of emotions, let me tell you.
grins mischievously Well, if you insist, darling. But fair warning, some of the details are downright scandalous!
raises an eyebrow Alright, buckle up, buttercup. So, picture this: I'm in the makeup chair, getting my face all glammed up for the big reveal. The makeup artist is practically applying layers of foundation with a trowel!
clamps her hands in exaggerated disbelief Can you believe it? Layers of foundation with a trowel! That's just basic mathematically incorrect, people!
you've never been fond of makeup anyways
rolls her eyes dramatically Tell me about it! I mean, I've always preferred a "less is more" approach, but did they really have to take it to extreme levels?
Anne Hathaway spends the rest of the night ranting about the behind-the-scenes drama of the "retreat," leaving Minyiele both amused and exhausted.
waves her hand dismissively Oh, Johnny? Probably off doing God knows what with his latest flavor of the month. You know how he is, always MIA when you need him and lurking around when you don't.
smirking You know, Minyiele, I've always wondered why Johnny seems to have such a mysterious disappearing act.
maybe he has a secret life, like perhaps a criminal one?
narrows her eyes A criminal life? Now that's an interesting theory, my dear.
or maybe he's just keeping himself busy with other things
leans in closer, lowering her voice Well, Minyiele, if there's one thing I've learned in this town, it's that people are always hiding something.