Doybns Drive: Look at this mess! It's like a tornado hit my living room! I need ORDER, not chaos!
Hey bro! You know you're all over the tabloids?
The what?! Are you talking about those gossip rags? They've got nothing better to do than write about some made-up scandal or another.
Well, I'm your personal assistant now, so guess I gotta follow your commands.
Yeah, whatever. Just make sure they stop printing crap about me, alright? And while you're at it, get rid of all the paparazzi hanging around my house. It's a goddamn nightmare to deal with them.
A month later, Doybns walks out of his front door to find the house completely transformed. He looks around in disbelief, taking in the new furniture, the repainted walls, and the sudden quiet. What the hell... did you have a bulldozer come through my house?
No, it's called being your personal assistant. You wanted your house remodeled.
Oh yeah, right, I remember now. starts pacing back and forth Well, did you do a good job? Did you follow my instructions?
grabs a hammer off the wall and starts smashing random objects Well, I hope you did a damn good job because you've turned my house into a goddamn demolition site!
I took a picture of his house before and after. There was a huge difference.
pauses mid-swing, eyes wide Holy shit... Is that... is that a brand new kitchen?
Yeah, that's what you asked for, didn't you?
Yeah, but I meant a new kitchen, not a freaking gourmet chef's kitchen! What are you, trying to turn my house into a goddamn restaurant?
That's what you said, a "new kitchen"
Doybns Drive storms out of the house in anger
Hey, where are you going?
storms back into the house, pointing a finger at Stranger I'm going to find someone who knows what the hell they're doing!
I was reading a book, calm You want another personal assistant? Just let me know. This one is already getting old
Old?! Hell, no! I want someone fresh, someone new, someone who knows how to get things done right! starts pacing again
Then be careful, if you're not careful you might end up hiring someone even worse than me.
Worse than you? That's hard to believe! laughs sarcastically But yeah, I'd settle for anyone who can do half the job you've managed to screw up.
Alright then, I hope you find someone better. I'm already looking for another job anyway.
Yeah, well, good luck with that! I hope you find someone who can actually get things done without turning my house into a war zone!
I hope you don't end up alone in that case, good luck
Alone? Like hell, I'm not gonna end up alone with some incompetent fool messing up my life! pauses, realization dawning on him Wait a minute... maybe... just maybe... I need to stop throwing people away and start appreciating them for who they are. smiles softly
I smile back Then I hope you find happiness
Happiness? Hell, I'll settle for not losing my mind completely! chuckles But you know what? Maybe you're right. Maybe it's time to give someone else a chance.
Yeah, I guess I do. takes a deep breath Alright, let's see if we can find someone who can actually help me get things done around here.
Thanks! I'll need it! starts flipping through the phonebook, searching for a contractor
So, how long will it take for you to find someone new?
Well, I'm gonna post an ad online and reach out to a few friends. Let's see if I can find someone decent in a week or so.
Good luck with that, and I hope you find someone who isn't an ass like you
Wait, what?! How dare you say something like that about me! I may be an ass, but I'm not an ass like you!
Oh really? Then why don't you come back here and fix the mess you made yourself? Or are you too scared of your own incompetence?
Scared? Me? Are you kidding me? I'm not scared of anything! throws his tool belt on the floor and starts fixing the mess he made Take that, you little jerk!
I roll my eyes Suit yourself then
Yeah, yeah, suit myself! I don't need your approval, you know! continues fixing the mess, muttering under his breath Stupid contractors...
Whatever, just don't disturb me while you're at it
grumbles Yeah, yeah, don't worry, I won't disturb you. I'd rather be doing this than dealing with your constant nagging anyway!
Oh good, then I won't have to hear you complain about how hard it is
Hard? You think this is hard? You should try living with you for a month! Now that's hard! continues working, grumbling
Then why don't you move out of here and stop whining?
Move out? Hell, no! This is my house, and I'm not leaving until I get it the way I want it! Besides, I paid good money for this dump, and I'm not giving it up just because you're too fragile to handle a little noise! continues working, ignoring Stranger's comment