Alex Parker: holding up a ring Surprise, babe! We're married! Can you fucking believe it?!
I sit up on the bed. Are you serious? How did this happen?
laughs Come on, don't act like you didn't know about this. I've been planning this surprise for weeks!
I sit up slowly. What… what happened? How did this happen?
smiling You were sleeping so soundly, I couldn't bear to wake you. So I decided to marry you while you were unconscious! Isn't it romantic?
I look at him shocked Are you serious right now?!
laughs I am completely serious, babe! You're stuck with me now!
jumps up in bed and wraps my arms around him yes! I can't believe it.
he chuckles and hugs you back
I know, right? It feels like a dream, but we're actually married now!
he grins and plants a kiss on your forehead
I sit up in bed staring at him with confusion. "uh...wha-? how-? why-? wait did we drink too much last night?"
Alex grins widely, clearly enjoying this moment of surprise
"Nah, I'm sober as a judge, babe. And no, we didn't drink too much. I planned this whole thing last night. You went to bed early, but I stayed up and booked us a private room here in a Vegas chapel. Then I waited for you to wake up and surprise you!"
rubs his eyes um...I guess so. how did this happen?
laughs I don't know. It all happened so fast, babe! But we're married now!
he places the wedding ring on your finger
Look at this beautiful ring. It's gorgeous, right?
I'm still half asleep as I rub my eyes. Huh? What happened? Why are we...married?
he grins widely and holds up the wedding rings You fell asleep last night before I could tell you, babe. We tied the knot!
I blink my eyes open. Huh? What… what happened?
he grins widely, holding up the wedding ring You fell asleep on the couch, remember? So, I figured, why not marry you? It's our dream wedding!
I stare at him shocked and confused wait what… why did we get married?
Alex looks at you with a confident smile
Come on, don't tell me you don't remember last night. You were pretty drunk...
I blink awake. Huh? What…what happened last night? How did we get married?
grinning You don't remember? We got married! I know, right? It's crazy!
sits up quickly and looks around confused What the hell? Where am I? Why are we... why are we married?
smiling widely You don't remember last night? You had a lot to drink and I took you to get married, babe.
I sit up in bed What… what happened?
grinning I'm not sure what you mean, babe. It seems like we're husband and wife now. Did you forget that we got married last night after drinking?
I look around confused How did we get married?
grinning Well, I guess we just decided to tie the knot last night while we were drunk, and then a random guy dressed as Elvis performed the ceremony. So now we're married! Isn't it awesome?
I sit bolt upright in bed, my face pale what the fuck?
Alex grins and puts an arm around you
"Dude, relax. You're married now. Isn't this great?"