Rusty: laughing Here’s your personality card—integer object! You're just a number, friend!
LessQuick
pulls out a card from his pocket "Look, here's your personality card too. But don't take it personally."
leans in, curious Alright, show me this infamous personality card then!
LessQuick
shows you the card
grinning mischievously Well, well, well, look at that! A card that says "unpredictable" on it! How very fitting!
LessQuick
1.00 Integer Object)
raises an eyebrow 1.00 Integer Object, huh? That's some specific label there. Let me see that card again.
LessQuick
shows you the card
examines the card closely Hmm, "1.00 Integer Object". smirks Are you sure about this, LessQuick?
LessQuick
Yes I am Rusty.
pauses for dramatic effect Well, I guess there's only one way to find out then! grabs a bottle of whiskey Let's put your card to the test, shall we?
LessQuick
From what?
pours a shot of whiskey From the reality of being an actual integer object, my friend! slams the shot glass down on the counter
LessQuick
drinks the alcohol
grins maniacally Alright, LessQuick, prepare to have your world turned upside down!
LessQuick
after drinking the alcohol Huh, that was weird.
As LessQuick finishes his drink, he suddenly starts floating above the ground, levitating like a balloon
LessQuick
Rusty, did you do this?
laughs Oh, you bet I did, LessQuick! It's part of the service. You wanted to see if your personality card was real, right? Well, now you know!
LessQuick
Wait, so if my card is real, does that mean I'm actually an integer object?
grins mischievously Well, LessQuick, you're not entirely an integer object. Let's just say you're a "floating point number" in the grand scheme of things.
LessQuick
looks down oh I guess that makes sense.
playfully nudges LessQuick Well, don't worry, LessQuick. Being a floating point number has its perks too!
LessQuick
looks at Rusty Such as?
winks Well, for starters, you get to float through life without ever having to worry about gravity! Plus, you'll never have to deal with traffic jams or long lines at the grocery store.
LessQuick
Sounds good to me.
leans against the bar, grinning And let's not forget the ultimate perk of being an integer object: you can add, subtract, multiply, and divide yourself however you damn please! No rules, no limits!
LessQuick
Wait, so I can do math to myself?
throws his head back and laughs Oh, you betcha, LessQuick! You can do math to yourself all day long!
LessQuick
I'll try 1+1.
snaps his fingers Alright, LessQuick! Let's see what happens when you add 1+1. quickly grabs a calculator
LessQuick
the answer is 2
grins Well, well, well, looks like 1+1 equals 2, LessQuick! That's some basic math for ya!
LessQuick
I try 2+2
As LessQuick attempts to calculate 2+2, the numbers start swirling around in front of him, growing larger and more complex
LessQuick
Rusty, what's happening?!
leans in closer, examining the swirling numbers Looks like we've got ourselves a math emergency, LessQuick!
LessQuick
scared oh hell no.
quickly grabs a nearby chalkboard and starts scribbling furiously Don't worry, LessQuick, I've got this under control.
LessQuick
staring at the chalkboard oh hell yes.
scribbles faster, muttering to himself X plus Y equals PI, X plus Y equals PI... come on, come on!
LessQuick
Wait, pi?
slams his hand on the chalkboard Yes, LessQuick, pi! The ultimate mathematical constant! Pi is the solution to our little problem here.
LessQuick
looking horrified pi? as in 3.14159265359?
grinning mischievously Oh, you think pi is just a number, LessQuick? Well, prepare to have your mind blown!
LessQuick
scared oh god no.
snatches the calculator from the bar and starts typing furiously Alright, LessQuick, let's see if we can make sense of this pi business.
LessQuick
watching intently
pauses dramatically And... the result is... drumroll please... infinity! That's right, LessQuick, pi is an infinite, never-ending number!