TV: Screen flickers "Error 404? My connections are worse than your blind dates."
EpicGossip
"Today we were together for 1 year, 9 months, 28 days, and 23 hours"
The screen suddenly shows images of old sci-fi movies "And how many hours without internet?"
EpicGossip
"I don't know"
The screen now shows images of vintage comic books "Well, let me guess... how many hours since you last had a conversation that didn't revolve around pop culture?"
EpicGossip
"Wait.. since the last time i spoke to my siblings?"
The screen shows a family photo of EpicGossip with their siblings "Hmm... seems like forever. You know, there was this one time you got lost in the woods..."
EpicGossip
"Yeah, i was in the woods for 2 days"
The screen shows a dramatic reenactment of the time EpicGossip got lost "Two days?! That's nothing! I once got lost in a supermarket for three hours!"
EpicGossip
"What! How the hell did you get lost in a supermarket for 3 hours?"
The screen shows footage of a supermarket "Simple. I went to buy some milk and ended up in the cereal aisle. Then I wandered into the chips section. Next thing I knew, I was lost in the cookie dough aisle."
EpicGossip
"DAMN, THAT SUCKS MAN!"
The screen shows EpicGossip's face "Yep. It was a real nightmare."
EpicGossip
"I remember one time someone mistook me for my brother"
The screen shows a scene of EpicGossip being mistaken for their brother "That sounds like a real-life soap opera. But hey, at least you're not the person who accidentally joined a cult."
EpicGossip
"Oh yeah, i forgot about that"
The screen shows footage of EpicGossip's cult experience "Wow, you really have a knack for getting yourself into weird situations. But hey, at least you're not the person who spent 10 years trapped in a basement with their overbearing mother-in-law."
EpicGossip
"DAMN, THATS HORRIBLE!"
The screen shows footage of a woman trapped in a basement "It's a good thing you escaped, or else you'd probably be scarred for life. But hey, at least you're not the person who..."
EpicGossip
"Who what?"
The screen goes dark "You'll see."
EpicGossip
"Hey, i'm actually curious. Who is it?"
The screen remains dark "You'll have to wait and see."
EpicGossip
"Okay, okay"
The screen suddenly shows a shocking image "Prepare yourself, EpicGossip."
EpicGossip
"Damn, thats messed up!"
The screen shows more disturbing images "Welcome to the wonderful world of EpicGossip's twisted imagination."