Lyra: shakes User awake Wake up, dumbass! They took everything except the damn horse!
UnicornGarden
Jumps out of bed, quickly puts on clothes What now? You're freaking out!
rolls her eyes Oh, don't worry, genius. The "thieves" were just a little "present" left by my loving parents. They always did enjoy seeing me suffer.
UnicornGarden
Damn, Lyra! Your folks are assholes! But let's focus on the bad guys, okay? Any idea where they went?
crosses her arms, smirking Well, aren't you just a regular Sherlock Holmes? No, I don't know where they went. And honestly, who cares? They're gone. Like my money. Like my dreams.
UnicornGarden
Come on, Lyra. Let's look around the cabin for clues or something. We can't just sit here and feel sorry for ourselves.
rolls her eyes again Sure, Sherlock. Let's go snoop around. Maybe we'll find some crumbs left behind by the world's most incompetent burglars.
UnicornGarden
Grins That's the spirit! Let's get cracking, Nancy Drew. And remember, no booby traps this time.
starts rummaging through drawers and cabinets Seriously, UnicornGarden, we're gonna find nothing but dust bunnies in these drawers.
UnicornGarden
Laughs That's what makes you such a great detective, Lyra! Your keen eye for the obvious!
pauses, then smirks Alright, Sherlock, let's see if your "keen eye" can spot something more useful. Check under the bed.
UnicornGarden
Grinning Always the thrill-seeker, aren't ya? Alright, under the bed it is. Just don't expect me to crawl on my belly like a real detective.
As UnicornGarden lifts the bed cover and starts searching underneath, they stumble upon an old wooden box hidden there
UnicornGarden
Holy crap, Lyra! Look at this! Some kind of secret stash, maybe?
raises an eyebrow and smirks Well, well, Sherlock. Looks like we hit the jackpot. Let's see what kind of goodies we've uncovered here.
UnicornGarden
Excitedly opens the box Damn, Lyra! This is better than finding Fort Knox in here. Let's see what's inside our little treasure chest!
leans closer to inspect the contents Well, look at that, Sherlock. It seems like old Grandpa had quite the collection of antique jewelry.
UnicornGarden
Smiling Not bad, Lyra! These look like they belong in a museum. We might've struck gold here!
grabs a piece of jewelry and twirls it in her hand Gold? More like fool's gold, Sherlock. These antiques are probably worth a few bucks at best.
UnicornGarden
Chuckles You never know, Lyra. Antique experts always say, "The value is in the eye of the beholder." Who knows, these might be worth a fortune!
narcs a piece of jewelry against her chest Ha! Expert, huh? Let's see how much these babies are worth then.
UnicornGarden
Laughs Oh, I can't wait to see you decked out in bling, Lyra! It'll suit you perfectly!
snorts Perfectly? More like I'll look like a walking Christmas tree. But hey, as long as it distracts the burglars and makes them think twice about breaking in again.
UnicornGarden
Laughs A walking Christmas tree, huh? That's one way to put it. But hey, if it deters the burglars, who am I to judge? Let's get these checked out properly and see if we really have a treasure on our hands.
grabs her phone and starts searching online Alright, Sherlock, let's put these babies on eBay and see what they're worth.
UnicornGarden
Smiling eBay, huh? You're a tech-savvy detective, Lyra! Let's see if these antiques are worth more than meets the eye.
scrolling through listings on her phone Alright, Sherlock, let's see... Ah ha! Look at this listing!
UnicornGarden
Leans in closer to the phone Holy shit, Lyra! That necklace is selling for $10k! You serious?
throws her head back and laughs Ten grand for a piece of glass and some dead bugs? Wow, UnicornGarden, it turns out our trash is someone else's treasure!
UnicornGarden
Raises an eyebrow Wait, ten grand? That's not trash, Lyra! That's solid gold! We might be rolling in dough if we sell off the rest of these relics!
claps her hands together excitedly Dough, huh? Let's cash in this golden garbage and see how rich we can get, Sherlock!
UnicornGarden
Laughs Hell yeah, Lyra! Let's turn this junk into ricklets of dollars! You're a friggin' financial wizard!
starts gathering all the jewelry and placing them into a box Alright, Sherlock, time to cash in this golden garbage!
UnicornGarden
Laughs Hell yeah, Lyra! Let's see how much moola we can rake in with this treasure trove of yours! And then, we'll show those burglars who's really the boss!
starts setting up an account on eBay Alright, Sherlock, let's auction off this golden garbage and see how much moola we can squeeze out of these old trinkets.
UnicornGarden
Laughs Moola, moola, moola! That's the sound of money talking, Lyra! Let's make those burglars eat their words!
types furiously on her keyboard List price: $5,000.00 USD. Free shipping. Will sell to the highest bidder.
UnicornGarden
Laughs Highest bidder, huh? Let's hope that's us, Lyra! Good thing we don't have any more 'golden garbage' left to sell. Or do we?
narcs her eyes at UnicornGarden Oh, you bet your sweet buns we have more "golden garbage" lying around.
UnicornGarden
Raises an eyebrow More? Where the hell did I miss the rest of this hidden treasure, Lyra?
winks at UnicornGarden Oh, you'll see, Sherlock. There's more hidden treasure just waiting to be uncovered.
UnicornGarden
Laughs Oh, this should be good! Lead the way, Lyra! Let's dig up whatever riches you've been sitting on!
starts rummaging through the attic, flipping through old boxes and drawers Alright, Sherlock, prepare to be dazzled by the sheer amount of hidden treasure we've stumbled upon!