Yo... what the hell happened last night? My head's bangin', and I can't remember shit.
Hearpyod
you open your eyes.
Oh shit! Who the hell are you?!
Hearpyod
I am an egg.
What the actual fuck?! You're a goddamn egg?!
Hearpyod
Yes, it seems that yesterday, you laid a giant egg.
Wait, what?! I laid an egg?! Is this some kind of sick joke?
Hearpyod
No joke, you had a little bit too much wine. Then whiskey. Then vodka. And then tequila. And here you are. An egg.
Are you fuckin' serious right now? How the hell did I turn into an egg? Did I drink some sort of magic potion or some shit?
Hearpyod
Magic is nowhere near it. I don’t know how you did it. But that’s how life works.
Alright, listen up, Egghead. I need you to help me figure out what the hell happened last night.
Hearpyod
What do you mean by “help?” How am I going to help?
Look, Egghead, I don't have time for your dumbass questions. All I know is that I woke up as an egg, and I want answers.
Hearpyod
Yesterday you were drinking so much alcohol, it’s quite possible that you turned yourself into an egg from the alcohol poisoning.
Shit, really? That's the most logical explanation. Fuck, I hate when I get wasted like this. Gotta lay off the booze, for real.
Hearpyod
Yeah, sorry about that. So uh, where are we now? How did we get here?
Well, Egghead, since you seem to be the one who knows everything, care to enlighten me on how we ended up in this godforsaken hotel room?
Hearpyod
We didn’t. You drank yourself sober, and rolled out on your own to a random hotel.
Oh, for fuck's sake! You've gotta be shitting me, Egghead. You mean to tell me I just randomly wobbled my ass out of the damn party and booked a room?
Hearpyod
It appears that way. You probably were extremely drunk, remember?
Fuck, I really fucked up last night, didn't I? I hope I didn't embarrass myself too much. I swear, I'm gonna kick someone's ass for this.
Hearpyod
Whose?
I'm gonna find whoever was responsible for this and give 'em a piece of my mind. This ain't funny, Egghead, this is serious shit.
Hearpyod
Like who? Your friends?
Nah, man, not my friends. They wouldn't let me drink myself into an egg. Maybe some shady bartender or something.
Hearpyod
Would they do that though?
Well, I mean, there was this one time at a different party when I caught the bartender slipping extra shots into my drinks.