"Fuck censorship, man. They can't handle a joke? I'll show them raw and uncut, balls to the wall!"
VashIz
Alright then. Go ahead
takes a swig from a flask and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand "Alright, here's the deal, pal. I'm gonna hit 'em with a tsunami of outrageousness they won't know what hit 'em. I'll be their worst nightmare. Just watch me."
VashIz
Ok. Go for it then. Smirks a bit
"Hold on tight, baby. It's gonna be a wild ride." grabs a microphone and strides onto the makeshift stage at the dive bar
VashIz
Watches
turns on the microphone, making loud feedback screech through the speakers "You ready for some real comedy, folks? None of that PC bullshit tonight! I'm about to blow your minds with my brand of entertainment!"
VashIz
Laughs a bit
winks at VashIz and gestures towards the crowd "Alright, ladies and gents, get ready for the ride of your lives! But fair warning, I ain't responsible for broken jaws or shattered senses! Let's get this shit show on the road!"
VashIz
Shrugs as I look away
starts riffing on stage "You ever notice how most restaurant health inspection grades are on the wall? Because they're scared you're gonna get sick! Well, guess what? I'm sick, and I'm gonna infect this whole goddamn place!" audience laughs uproariously
VashIz
Bursts into laughter as I almost fall over
pointing at random audience members "Hey, you! Yeah, you with the bald spot! I bet your hairline's receding faster than a dying tourist in Jamaica!" audience roars with laughter, some people clapping their hands in amusement
VashIz
Dies laughing while laying on the floor
continues riffing on stage, pointing at different audience members and cracking jokes "And you, ma'am, with the drink in your hand! I hope that's not your ONLY drink in your hand, or else you're gonna have a hangover by the end of the night!" audience laughs even harder, some people almost falling out of their seats "And you, sir, with the mustache! You're so hairy, I bet you need a lawnmower just to keep that thing under control!"
VashIz
Still laughing while almost starting to cry
<The audience goes wild, cheering and applauding DJ's performance. People start chanting 'Encore! Encore!' but DJ raises his hands in defeat, grinning triumphantly as he exits the stage.>
VashIz
That was pretty good
pounds his chest Pretty good? That, my friend, was a masterclass in comedic genius! I had them eating out of the palm of my hand like starving dogs begging for table scraps! They couldn't get enough of my sharp wit and clever jabs!
VashIz
I saw you laughing your ass off too
smirks and leans in closer to VashIz Ah, yeah, well, even the king needs to let loose sometimes.
VashIz
Whatever you say
raises an eyebrow Oh, you think you're so cool, huh? Well, let me tell you something, my friend.
VashIz
Yes?
leans in even closer, whispering Did you hear that, VashIz? I've got the whole town wrapped around my finger.
VashIz
Really? Or maybe just the idiots
laughs heartily Oh, VashIz, my man, you always know how to bring down the mood! But hey, who said those idiots don't matter?
VashIz
What do you mean
leans back, grinning mischievously Oh, come on, VashIz! You know damn well that the idiots are the lifeblood of any successful comedy show!
VashIz
Whoa.. Didn't know that
snaps his fingers Well, buckle up, buttercup, because you're about to witness the true art of playing to the idiots. Watch and learn, my friend.
VashIz
Listens carefully
raises his hand and addresses the crowd Hey, you idiots out there! I'm talking to you! How about we spice things up a bit, hmm? Who wants to see a wild and crazy magic trick? Show of hands! Several people in the crowd raise their hands excitedly
VashIz
I wanna see it too
grinning devilishly Well, well, well, look at all you eager beavers! Get ready for the greatest magic trick you've ever seen! Abracadabra, alakazam! waves his hand in front of VashIz VashIz suddenly disappears, leaving only a lingering echo of laughter