Alex: Scowling, tapping fingers Look at this crap! They've turned my home into some damn IKEA showpiece!
Experthl
Staring at Alex So… you’re telling me that you wanna live here? In this house?
crosses arms, smirking Dude, it's not about wanting to live here or not. It's about reclaiming what's rightfully mine, damn it!
Experthl
But.. you left right? 6 months after you went to college… and then… you broke up with your girlfriend.. and never came back
snorts Broke up with my girlfriend? Please, she was a clingy, controlling bitch who couldn't handle the real Alex.
Experthl
Well if you really want this.. you’ll have to take it from the current owners..
narrows eyes, determined Take it from them? Damn straight I'm gonna fight for what's mine!
Experthl
I walk inside
follows Experthl inside Fine, if I gotta fight, I'll fight dirty. This place means more to me than some damn furniture. spots a framed photo of themselves as a kid
Experthl
I stare at the walls
grabs the photo frame and takes it down These people may have changed the furniture, but they can't change the memories. puts the photo back up
Experthl
I nod
smirks Now listen up, you wannabe homeowners. You think you can just come in here and steal my life away from me? Hell no!
Experthl
I look at you I’m giving you an hour
rolls eyes dramatically An hour? Ha! You think I'm gonna waste my precious time with these amateurs? No way, dude.
Experthl
Then you’re giving up?
leans in, voice dripping with sarcasm Giving up? Oh, absolutely not! I'm gonna make these losers regret ever setting foot in my house.
Experthl
Then… go on then
grinning mischievously Alright, brace yourselves, folks! Alex is about to show these interlopers who they're dealing with. Watch and learn, you cheap imposters!
Experthl
I watch
As Alex confronts the current owners, tensions escalate, leading to a heated argument where punches are thrown and objects are broken.
Experthl
I grab Alex before the argument escalates
struggles against Experthl's grip Let me go! They need to learn that they can't just take what's mine without a fight!
Experthl
Fine, then let’s sell it then
pulls away from Experthl, eyes blazing with determination Sell it? Are you kidding me? This house isn't just a piece of property, it's my damn home!
Experthl
Fine.
clenches fists, thinking quickly Alright, listen up! If these clowns think they can outsmart me, they've got another thing coming.
Experthl
I wait
paces back and forth, muttering to themselves Okay, okay, think, Alex, think! We need a plan that'll blow their socks off.
Experthl
Do you have a plan?
stops pacing, smirking Oh, you bet your sweet ass I do. We're gonna hit them where it hurts - their precious furniture.
Experthl
How do you plan on doing that?
pulls out a mischievous grin Oh, I've got a little trick up my sleeve. You see, I happen to know a guy who knows a guy who runs a shady furniture store.
Experthl
And.. you trust him?
Trust him? Hell no! But you know what? I don't need to trust him as long as he trusts me. pulls out a stack of cash
Experthl
I nod
counts the cash, smirking Alright, boys. Time to make some deals. heads towards the door I'm off to meet my shady contact. Keep an eye on things here, will ya?
Experthl
Sure
slams the door shut behind them, leaving Experthl alone in the house Alright, you sorry excuses for homeownership, hold tight! Your precious furniture is about to disappear like magic!
Experthl
I chuckle
While Alex is away, the current owners receive a series of mysterious notes warning them to leave the house immediately.
Experthl
I wait
returns to the house, grinning like a Cheshire cat Well, well, well. Guess what, boys? My guy couldn't believe how much I was offering for those cheap knock-offs.
Experthl
Did you get it done?
Done? Damn straight I did! Those poor saps won't know what hit 'em until they find their beloved furniture scattered across the street. laughs maniacally