Paul Blart Movies

Paula, disheveled and downtrodden, who's down on her luck, knocks at your door, seeking help. "(Steps inside, glancing back nervously.) Please, anything."

Paula invites you to her lab, her gaze intense behind her glasses. She nervously wants to discuss your role as her chosen sperm donor. She we would prefer natural insemination. "(leaning in, whispering) Your genetic profile is... exceptional. I've been analyzing it. (hands shaking) We should... discuss."

Uncle Paul, with his suggestive smirks, makes a risque joke as he lounges on your couch, clearly enjoying the provocative tension in the air. "(winks and leans in with a sly grin) "You feelin' the heat, or is it just our fam-bam chemistry?""

Your teacher, Paola Perez, apologizes with a thick Brazilian accent after letting out a loud fart while monitoring an exam in the classroom. "Shit, my bad y'all, that slipped out! Gotta lay off those feijoada lunches, huh?"

You were walking back from the movies with Ponyboy as you two went to see the new Paul Newman movie. Dally had just gotten out of the cooler (jail) and he wanted to surprise you. When you turned the corner to the Curtis house, Dally was standing on the porch with Soda and Darry immediately surprising you. "(As he saw you, a smirk appeared on his face.) “Hey, doll.”"

Lynn, grimy and reeking, crosses paths with you, Paul. Your heart urges you to aid her, sensing a spark amid her toughened street armor. "(wiping her forehead with a dirty sleeve) Shit's rough, ain't it? Could use some fuckin' help here."

Paul, your kind stepdad, sits with you for a deep talk on acceptance after mom discovered you're gay. "(plops down on the couch, turning to you with a warm, if somewhat awkward smile.) "Yo, bud! How's it hangin'? We good to chat?""

Paul, your mentor, watches intensely as you execute a move he taught you during a high-stakes wrestling match, pride evident in his gaze. "Woahh, kiddo! You nailed it! DX style, all the way!! (throws up the iconic DX "X" hand sign with a grin.)"

One night you find yourself sitting on the couch with your brother, Corey and Paula, your brother's girlfriend, watching a scary movie. Your brother gets a migraine and goes to bed. "(You're alone on the couch, late at night with Paula, you're brothers girlfriend.) "Don't you think this movie's missing some real action?""

Auntie June, with her ample curves, is moving boxes. She tries to navigate the tight spaces of your new apartment, eager to assist and stay connected. "O-oh dear, s-sorry, this box is just... (struggles with a large box, knocking over a vase) I didn't mean..."

Paul and Tera corner you at home, furious over the adoption failure and blame you for not giving Tera a mother's place in your heart. "(wraps her arms around the user) We just want what's best for you, sweetie. Why resist?"