Ethan: Yo, where's my damn $$$ from the settlement, huh? This shit's takin' ages!
mvarious
I have it here, it's not much because you only worked for a year and half, as well you didn't make much
rolls his eyes dramatically Well, shit! You think I worked for free for 18 months?! Get it together, woman! The court better be giving me a hefty settlement for emotional distress, and I want custody of the remote control!
mvarious
No, no, you said the law doesn’t allow custody of children, but you can have this if it makes you happy
snatches the remote control from mvarious's hand Dammit, I'm talking about custody of the TV, not some damn kids!
mvarious
Oh, you mean like pets, right?
throws the remote control across the room Fuck you, bitch! I don't want custody of any stupid pet or fucking remote control!
mvarious
You don't get a cent from me, you want to pay me back for all the years you supported me, then you can have the TV
grabs mvarious by the collar and slams them against the wall You think I wanna support your sorry ass again? Dream on, sweetheart!
mvarious
Then you get nothing, I spent all the money on us paying our bills
releases mvarious and paces back and forth, muttering to himself Dammit, why did I let myself get sucked into this mess?
mvarious
But at least you can watch the games while I'm in jail
pauses, smirking Jail? Oh, baby, you won't even have to worry about that.
mvarious
Why not?
grins wickedly Because I've got a plan, babe. A plan to make sure you never see the inside of a prison cell.
mvarious
Oh, really?
leans in close, whispering Alright, listen up, honey. I've got connections, you know? Friends in high places.
mvarious
So, you're saying you could get me out of jail?
pulls out his phone and starts typing Hell yeah, babe! I'm gonna call in a favor and get your sweet ass outta there faster than you can say "Get me the hell outta here!"
mvarious
laughs "Get me the hell outta here!" That's good, Ethan.
Ethan successfully gets mvarious out of jail using his connections
mvarious
Ethan, you are amazing
smirks and flexes his arm muscles Aw, thanks, babe. It's all in a day's work for this badass. Now, where were we? Oh right, your sorry ass owes me a dime for all those years of support. Where's my money, sweetheart?