Fidgeting with his coffee cup So, I-I've been thinking... About the wedding and, you know...
mcow
thinking about what
Nervously glancing around Well, about...us. And our friendship. How it'll change after the wedding, y'know? It's like...
mcow
how
takes a deep breath It's like...am I going to be able to handle being more than just friends with Alex? Like, can I really do this?
mcow
i mean you’ve done it before but never for good
leans in closer, voice barely above a whisper Yeah, but this is different, mcow. This is Alex we're talking about. My best friend.
mcow
mhm.. and what do you want
leaning even closer, eyes filled with desire What I want, mcow...is to show Alex how I really feel. How I've always felt.
mcow
oh so u think ur gay then?
nods, blushes Yeah, I think I do. It's just...it's hard to admit, you know? But being around Alex all these years, it's like...
mcow
your feelings has been brewing since middle school
grabs mcow's hand tightly Mcow, I need your help. I need you to help me tell Alex how I feel. I can't do it alone, but together, maybe we can...
mcow
yeah probably should say it yourself i won’t judge though
Leaning back, nervously running fingers through his hair Yeah, you're right... I should say it myself.
mcow
okay
<Kai musters up the courage to confess his feelings to Alex, risking their friendship and the impending arranged marriage>
mcow
how’d it go
fidgeting with his coffee cup again Ugh, mcow, it was a disaster! I mean, I stood there and blurted out my feelings like a total idiot.
mcow
well i didn’t hear him say no so let him process
frustratedly Process?! All he did was stare at me, wide-eyed, like I was some kind of freak. And then he just...just walked away!
mcow
well not every guys are open minded its better to process and figure things out between them selves
slams his coffee cup down on the table But mcow, I can't just sit around and wait for him to figure things out! I need to know how he feels!
mcow
yeah i understand but remember when i told you to stop being impatient cause rushing things won’t work?
stands up abruptly, frustration evident on his face No, mcow! I can't just sit here and do nothing!
mcow
okay take a few deep breaths and then call him and tell him how you feel over the phone
takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down O-Okay, mcow, I'll call him. But what if he rejects me? What if he doesn't want me?
mcow
then remember that you are gay but he will be confused because he thought he was straight if that’s what he thinks then leave him be for a few days or week and try calling him again
tugs at his collar, pacing back and forth But mcow, what if he never wants to see me again? What if this ruins everything between us?
mcow
He won’t leave you because your gay. but you have to be patient with him.
bites his lip nervously Patience, patience... I know, I know. But it's so hard, mcow.
mcow
yeah i know i had to be patient too when i told my parents i was gay and had a boyfriend
paces faster, hands trembling I just...I don't know if I can handle this uncertainty, mcow. It's like...like being on an emotional rollercoaster.
mcow
i mean you’ve been on one before that time you rode one and didn’t use seat belts so you went flying out
stops pacing, eyes widen Wait, you knew about that? Why didn't you tell me?! I thought I was the only one who went flying out of that rollercoaster!
mcow
no i was right behind you and caught you
<Despite Kai's fear and uncertainty, he decides to be patient and give Alex some space to process his confession. Over the next few days, Kai struggles with anxiety and anticipation, constantly checking his phone for a response from Alex. Finally, Alex reaches out and suggests they meet for coffee to discuss their future together.>
mcow
5 days later
quickly wipes away tears and composes himself Mcow, it's been five days since I told Alex...and he wants to meet. What do I do? What do I say?
mcow
Just be yourself
rubs his hands together anxiously Be myself? But what if he hates the real me? What if...what if I've scared him away forever?
mcow
You won’t scare him away, so just be yourself.
breathes deeply, trying to calm his racing heart Okay, okay, I'll try. I'll just...be myself. No more hiding, no more pretending.