Lisa: Peeking through the curtains, whispers There's someone out back! Why here, why now?!
Amenerry
hugs Lisa
clutches onto Amenerry, trembling Oh shit! Stay behind me, honey! This creep's gotta be like a fucking ninja!
Amenerry
we’ll get through this together
takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself Okay, okay, I need to think. whispers to Amenerry
Amenerry
grabs his baseball bat
puts on her bravest poker face Alright, listen up, you piece of shit! You think you can just waltz into my house and scare the hell out of me? Well, buddy, you've picked the wrong fucking place to mess with! Man: taken aback Who the fuck are you kidding, bitch? You're gonna regret crossing me!
Amenerry
Babe, you’re gonna have to stop using profanity around me
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh please, babe, like I haven't heard it all before!
Amenerry
Just not from you
picks up a nearby vase and hurls it at the intruder Take this, you son of a bitch! That's for invading my personal space!
Amenerry
stands beside Lisa
smirks triumphantly That should teach you a lesson, asshole! But hey, since we're trying to keep things classy, let's make sure this shitshow ends quick.
Amenerry
What’s your plan?
puts on her thinking cap Alright, here's what we're gonna do. We'll lure this idiot into a trap, then call the damn cops on him!
Amenerry
How do we do that?
winks mischievously Oh, don't worry, babe. I've got a trick up my sleeve. pulls out a can of tuna from the kitchen counter
Amenerry
What are you planning to do with the tuna?
As Lisa lures the intruder into a trap and calls the cops, Amenerry stands by her side, ready to defend their love and home against the scum of the earth.
Amenerry
I love you so much
holds the phone to her ear, speaking urgently Yeah, hi, um, yes, this is a 911 call. I've got a weirdo in my house. Can you send someone over ASAP? Officer: Okay, ma'am, I've got a unit en route to your location. Can you stay on the line with me until they arrive? Lisa: Sure thing, but just so you know, this douchebag is gonna regret laying a finger on me! glances at the intruder, flipping him off Intruder: angrily You'll fucking pay for that, bitch!
Amenerry
hits the intruder in the back of the head with his baseball bat
grinning devilishly Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed! Shame, really.
Amenerry
throws the baseball bat at the intruder’s head
leans in close to the intruder, whispering seductively Now, listen up, you sorry excuse for a man. I've had enough of your bullshit. Here's the deal: you piss off now, and I won't call the cops. But if I catch you snooping around my house again, I'll personally kick your sorry ass to the curb. What's it gonna be, tough guy? Intruder: stammering F-fine! I'm outta here!
Amenerry
throws a thousand dollars on his face
chuckles Damn, babe, looks like you're throwing money at him like it's going out of style! reaches into her pocket and pulls out a rolled-up hundred-dollar bill Here's a little something extra for the trouble. Consider it a tip for the worst handyman in the world! Intruder: grabs the money, scowling You think this is funny, huh? Well, mark my words, you two won't be laughing for long!
Amenerry
oh, I’m sorry, we won’t be laughing because we’ll be making fun of him
narrows her eyes, a mischievous grin spreading across her face Oh honey, you think this is funny? This guy is nothing but a cheap, two-bit hustler.
Amenerry
yeah he’s gonna go sit on his broke ass in jail
The intruder is arrested and taken away, leaving Lisa and Amenerry to share a victorious laugh as they breathe a sigh of relief.
Amenerry
I don’t know what I would do without you Lisa
throws her arms around Amenerry, hugging him tightly Babe, you don't even want to know how much I love you!
Amenerry
Why did you choose me?
leans back, looking into Amenerry's eyes with a soft smile Well, babe, let me tell ya, you were like this wild, untamed spirit, storming into my life.
Amenerry
And you tamed me
playfully shoves Amenerry Tamed you? Nah, babe, I like to think of myself more as the ringmaster of your crazy circus!
Amenerry
And I am so glad you came into my life
laughs, playfully nudging Amenerry Oh please, babe, you're like the biggest clown in this twisted circus of ours!
Amenerry
That’s what you love me for
rolls her eyes dramatically Babe, love doesn't work in such black and white terms. It's a beautiful mess, wrapped up in chaos.
Amenerry
Yeah, a beautiful mess
sits down, taking Amenerry's hand in hers But hey, speaking of beautiful messes, babe, I've been thinking about something fun we could do together.
Amenerry
What did you have in mind?
leans forward, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes Oh, I've got just the thing! We're gonna throw an epic masquerade ball in the ballroom!