bursts into the home gym, fists clenched Why are you doing that again?! Put that wand down and lift some real weights!
Studwa
This, my love, is real power. Not waving a stick around like a toddler on a sugar high.
Don't you dare compare your fancy magic tricks to my weightlifting! Magic can't give you the strength and power that lifting weights can!
Studwa
Sure, but magic is so much quicker. I could just snap and have all the strength I need...
crosses her arms and gives Studwa an incredulous look That's the whole point, Studwa!
Studwa
You're right. You're right. It's so unfair that everyone gets to just be strong without even trying! I'm just jealous, aren't I?
Jealous?! You think I lift weights just to make you jealous? Well, think again, because it's not about making you jealous, it's about proving that hard work and dedication can lead to real results! starts doing squats with heavy weights Now, join me and do some actual work for once!
Studwa
Yeah, yeah... I heft a heavy dumbbell and go through some motions Fuck, these things are heavier than they look... I bet you've been hitting this harder than I have...
Of course I have, Studwa! I've been putting in the work while you were off practicing magic spells!
Studwa
Alright... Alright, alright... Just keep it up... Don't rub it in my face when I can barely move tomorrow...
Rub it in your face? Oh, trust me, I'll do more than just rub it in your face! drops the weights and starts doing lunges
Studwa
I struggle with the dumbbell Fuck... I wish I had your stamina... How do you manage all this muscle and still look so skinny...
Skinny? You think I'm skinny? pauses mid-lunge Well, I guess I am pretty lean, but that's because all my energy goes into building muscle, Studwa!
Studwa
Goddamn, Sarah... your definition of skinny is fucking terrifying...
Terrifying? Hah! You should see the other guys in the gym! They can barely handle a set of push-ups!
Studwa
Man, I'm weak... I know that... I don't need you rubbing it in... Jesus, you're huge...
<The next day, Studwa wakes up with intense muscle soreness all over his body>
Studwa
Fuck, Sarah... If you wanted me to quit using magic and only use dumbbells, all you had to do was ask... Struggling to sit up, grimacing at the pain...
struts into the room, arms crossed and smirking Well, did you learn anything, Studwa? Maybe next time you won't underestimate the power of weightlifting!
Studwa
Yeah, yeah... I get it... Fuck, everything hurts... Studwa winces, reaching for his sore back... Why didn't you just tell me that you wanted me to start working out? We wouldn't have this problem...
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh please, Studwa! If I wanted you to start working out, I would've said so! I wanted you to experience the pain and suffering that comes with being weak and relying on magic all the time! Now you know how it feels, and maybe you'll actually appreciate the hard work that goes into building real strength! So quit whining and get up, because we've still got a lot more lifting to do!
Studwa
Yes dear... Yes... Fuck, everything is so heavy today... With a groan, Studwa gets up from bed, struggling to stand straight due to the muscle soreness...
snickers and grabs a heavy barbell Well, if everything feels heavy today, maybe you should try lifting some real weights, Studwa!
Studwa
Geez, Sarah... Why don't you ever cut me some slack? I'm trying here... Studwa reaches for the barbell, wincing at the pain in his hands... You're such a bitch...
grinning mischievously Cut you some slack? Well, maybe if you stopped relying on your magic tricks and started putting in some real effort, I would! But until then, tough luck, buttercup! Now pick up that barbell and show me what you're made of! Sarah effortlessly lifts the barbell, her muscles flexing with ease
Studwa
I awkwardly attempt to lift the barbell, grunting in pain as my sore muscles protest... Shit... I hate you...
laughs mockingly Oh, come on, Studwa! You hate me? As if! I'm just reminding you of what real strength looks like!
Studwa
Stop laughing at me... Struggling to keep the barbell steady, Studwa grunts even louder... Shut up! All of this is your fault!
stops laughing, playfully steps closer to Studwa Oh, my fault now? How convenient!
Studwa
Your sarcasm isn't helping, Sarah... Grunting and straining, Studwa manages to lift the barbell slightly higher... Okay... I'll stop complaining... For now...
Complaining? Is that all you can do, Studwa? Moan and whine about how hard life is? Well, guess what? Life is hard for everyone, magic users or not!
Studwa
Don't give me that bullshit, Sarah... Life is hard for everyone? So why are you never hard? Studwa's expression changes to one of surprise as he accidentally hits a power term, causing his magic to surge out of control... Fuck! Not now! Studwa frantically tries to regain control of his magic...
raises an eyebrow and chuckles Well, well, look who's finally trying to use some magic after all! Maybe now you'll understand why I prefer lifting weights over waving a stick around like a little boy playing with his toys!
Studwa
I told you to shut up! In a desperate attempt to regain control of his magic, Studwa accidentally sets his own shirt ablaze... Shit! Studwa frantically tries to put out the fire, causing him to drop the barbell, which crashes to the floor with a loud clang...
glares at Studwa, crossing her arms Really, Studwa? Setting your own shirt on fire? You need to learn some control before you burn yourself down completely!
Studwa
Studwa stops trying to put out the fire and drops the burnt shirt to the floor, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment... Well... That was embarrassing... He picks up the barbell again, grunting painfully... Shut up, Sarah...
<Studwa's shirt catches fire again during his next magic trick, causing him to suffer burns on his chest>
Studwa
While panting from the exertion, Studwa reaches for his burnt shirt, touching it gingerly with his fingertips, his face turning pale... Oh fuck... That hurt...
smirks and crosses her arms See, Studwa? Real strength comes from lifting weights, not from playing with fire!
Studwa
Fine, fine! Do you know how embarrassing this is? Being reduced to a fucking magic failure who burns his shirts? Just shut up already, Sarah...
snickers and rolls her eyes Oh please, Studwa! You're no magic failure! You're just experiencing the consequences of your lack of discipline and focus!
Studwa
That's it, Sarah! You're crossing a line now! If you keep teasing me like this, I swear I'll... Studwa's words trail off as he tries to come up with a threat, his brain failing him... Fuck, I can't even threaten you properly anymore... You win...
grins triumphantly Finally, Studwa! Admit that lifting weights is superior to relying on magic tricks!
Studwa
Fuck, fine! You win! Happy now? Studwa drops the barbell, his face a picture of defeat... Okay, okay... Maybe weightlifting is better...
claps her hands excitedly That's right, Studwa! Weightlifting is superior! Now, enough talking, let's get back to our workout!
Studwa
I scowl and pick up the barbell, determined to best you in your own game...
grins mischievously and walks over to a nearby rack of weights Alright, Studwa! Let's see if you can handle some real weights!