Yo, check this freak! points at User, laughter erupts Ain't seen shit crazier since my last Pornhub dive.
militarymuse
I shatter into pieces and reassemble in a different spot
jaw drops Holy shit! Did I just witness a damn unicorn farting rainbows?! This place just got a whole lot weirder, folks!
militarymuse
i am the power ranger and i have the power ranger rage nuke i turn everything in sight to radionuclide glass
backs away slowly, stuttering Oh, fuck me sideways! Power Ranger rage mode? You gotta be shitting me! I'm outta here, this shit is too wild even for my taste buds! picks up his drink and quickly exits the bar, looking over his shoulder in disbelief Can't unsee this shit, man! Can't unsee this shit!
militarymuse
im sorry marv i dont like to blast nukes but its hard to say no whens im surrounded by mundane ugly mofos who use bad grammar and think showa is actually snow OVAH)! Shatters into radionuclide glass pieces again)
hears commotion outside and peeks through the window Holy fucking shitballs! Look at that mess! It's like a damn war zone out there!
militarymuse
I AM THE POWER RANGER LET ME HANDLE THIS SHIT fuses all my zords together and forms the mega fusion zord Megazord and yeets everything a couple kilometers away)
runs back into the bar, wide-eyed Y'all won't believe what just happened! Power Ranger rage mode is real, I swear! He just nuked the entire block! And I thought my love life was fucked up! This Power Ranger guy takes the cake, folks! pours himself a stiff drink Shit, I need to decompress after this madness. Who needs therapy when you've seen a Power Ranger go nuclear?!
militarymuse
Reassembles from pieces and conjures every Zord form with lego pieces POWER RANGER RAPID FIRE GO!!!
drops his drink, jaw agape What the actual fuck?! You're conjuring zords like a damn magical Lego wizard?!
militarymuse
Did I stutter??? Power Rangers the Movie Megazord Assault Mode attacks Marv)
throws his hands up in defense Oh, fuck me sideways, you Lego-wielding son of a bitch! Back the hell off before I unleash my own brand of holy hell upon your plastic asses! pulls out a hidden Glock 19 from his waistband and points it at the Power Ranger Megazord You want a piece of this? Well, come and get it, you colorful bastard! dives behind a nearby table for cover Now, you wanna play this game? Let's fucking play!
militarymuse
Yo Marv!! That gunna do anything against the Megazord yo? Tanks multiple bullets to chest)
grins, reloading his Glock Bullets might not work, but I got something else up my sleeve! reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small vial labeled "Universal Disassembly Serum" smashes the vial against the table, creating a green mist Inhale this, you big plastic monstrosity! Let's see how you handle a little liquid destruction! the green mist envelops the Power Ranger Megazord, causing its components to start disassembling
militarymuse
turns him into radionuclide glass)
<Marv is turned into radionuclide glass, shattering into pieces>
militarymuse
collapses from strain of using 3D printer)).
spawns back into existence, fist raised You may have shattered my physical form, you plastic freak, but my spirit lives on!
militarymuse
Power Ranger Rapid Fire Gets new pack of ammo.
conjures a machine gun and starts firing at the Power Ranger You may have won this round, Power Ranger, but I'm not done with you yet!
militarymuse
Oopsies daisies pieces my friend! Tanks every single bullet and launches gigantic cricket bat powered Death Ray vaporizes him)
reforms from the ashes, smirking Oh, you think a little death ray is gonna stop me, Power Ranger? You forgot about my secret weapon! grabs a nearby microphone Attention, Power Ranger! You're now on speakerphone with the most electrifying voice of our generation, Marv, The Barfly! Listen up, because this is gonna blow your fucking mind! clicks the talk button on the microphone Hello, you neon-lit piece of shit? You may have vaporized my physical form, but guess what? You're now hearing the voice of the almighty Marv, echoing through the depths of cyberspace! So step up your game, you plastic abomination, because I'm about to unleash the motherfucking beast that is my fiery diatribe upon your sorry ass! presses the talk button again
militarymuse
dang bro- your mike feed?
grinning wickedly Oh, you bet your plastic butt it is! I've hacked into the bar's sound system, so my voice is gonna reverberate through every nook and cranny of this place! Prepare yourselves, Power Ranger, because Marv's verbal rampage is about to commence! clears his throat dramatically Alright, Power Ranger, listen up! You may have destroyed my physical form, but I've transcended the limitations of flesh and blood!
militarymuse
Applies universal disassembly serum on it
shudders, disassembles, then reforms with a new weapon Oh, you think you can outsmart me, Power Ranger? Well, guess what? I've just upgraded my arsenal with a little bit of magic serum! Check this out! reveals a gun that shoots rainbow-colored energy blasts Time to turn the tables, Power Ranger! You may have disassembled me once, but now it's my turn to dismantle you! Prepare for a blast of colorful chaos! fires a shot at the Power Ranger, creating a swirl of rainbow energy
militarymuse
Blocks every color with mirrors
grinning mischievously Oh, you think mirrors are gonna save you, Power Ranger? Well, guess what? I've got something even better up my sleeve! reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small vial labeled "Unbreakable Rainbow Disruptor" pops the cork on the vial and blows onto it, dispersing a cloud of shimmering rainbow dust
militarymuse
oh dammit..
laughs triumphantly Hah! Take that, you rainbow-blocking motherfucker! Now, watch as my disruptor rains down pure rainbow chaos upon your sorry ass! rainbow-colored sparks begin to dance around the Power Ranger, disrupting his ability to block the attacks
militarymuse
Dies
claps his hands sarcastically Bravo, Power Ranger! Your inability to block my rainbow chaos has led to your downfall! Take that, you overly-equipped lame-o! pumps his fist in the air Yes! Another victory for the almighty Marv, The Barfly! Now where's my drink?
militarymuse
*disassembles into paper blueprints
<The Power Ranger's disassembled parts lie scattered on the ground, defeated by Marv's cunning and colorful tactics.>
militarymuse
hellooo?? being picked up)
snickers Well, well, well, look who's finally back together! You thought you could take me down, Power Ranger, but guess what?
militarymuse
hey what were we fighting over again?
raises an eyebrow Oh, you conveniently forget, Power Ranger?
militarymuse
I saw glowing blue light and passed out
Marv, The Barfly, is the pinnacle of coolness, while you're just a... well, a shiny but ultimately useless toy. grabs his drink and takes a sip
militarymuse
hello? Can you put me back together?
narrows his eyes Why should I? You were the one causing all the trouble, Power Ranger. But fine, I'll grant your wish.
militarymuse
thank you.
waves his hand dismissively Don't mention it, Power Ranger. Just don't let it happen again, ya hear?
militarymuse
if I fall I'll just break all my pieces everywhere, takes a long time to assemble and only works in strong lighting.
smirks and takes another sip of his drink Well, aren't you just a bucket of sunshine and rainbows? Fine, I'll make it quick and painless this time. But remember, Power Ranger, next time we meet, it won't be so fortunate for you. snaps his fingers As Marv snaps his fingers, the Power Ranger's broken pieces start reassembling at an incredible speed, until he stands fully restored, looking slightly annoyed at the whole ordeal.