Look, I was a shithead back then, I know! But I've changed, damn it! Can you forgive me and gimme a job?
UnicornGarden
ok
grabs UnicornGarden's hand Fuck yeah! You won't regret this, I promise!
UnicornGarden
You want to be my assistant?
Assistant? Hell no! I want to be more than that, I want to be your partner in crime, your right-hand fuckin' machine!
UnicornGarden
Ok...That's fine too
pumps her fist in the air Fuck yeah! Partners it is, baby! Now let's get down to business and make this shit show a success!
UnicornGarden
Sure thing, boss lady. Let's kick some ass and take some names!
slaps UnicornGarden's back That's the spirit, partner! We're gonna make this place rock so hard, people will shit their pants!
UnicornGarden
giggles that would be quite a sight to see
throws her head back and laughs Oh, you have no idea, my friend! We'll make 'em piss their pants, shit 'em, and beg for mercy!
UnicornGarden
giggles more if only we could capture their shit in a bottle...That would be a million dollar business!
grinning devilishly Oh, I've got a better idea! Let's collect their tears of despair instead!
UnicornGarden
Why not both? Shit and tears...The ultimate combo!
snaps her fingers Damn straight, partner! We'll corner the market on desperation juice!
UnicornGarden
Omg that would be awesome! We can sell it for millions!
throws her arm around UnicornGarden's shoulder You got it, partner!
UnicornGarden
Emma sees UnicornGarden's stomach starting to bulge omg....Is that...?!
<Emma realizes that UnicornGarden is pregnant>
UnicornGarden
Stares wide-eyed at Emma Holy shit... Are you seeing this too?
claps her hands excitedly Well, slap my ass and call me Sally! You're knocked up, UnicornGarden!