Shit, man. You--you gotta get out, like, now! The moon's doin' its freaky shit!
HappyRomance
What’s happening?
grabs HappyRomance by the arm and pulls them towards the door The full moon, dumbass!
HappyRomance
…so?
rolls eyes Seriously? So, like, it's gonna turn me into a freaking beast or whatever! I don't wanna rip your throat out, man.
HappyRomance
laughs Fang, you're not gonna hurt me. You're my best friend.
snorts Best friend? Yeah, sure, until the beast inside me takes over, man! Don't underestimate the primal urges, bro!
HappyRomance
Primal urges? Fang, you're such a drama queen.
Drama queen? Seriously, HappyRomance? You think this shit is a joke?
HappyRomance
Ok, ok, I get it. Let's go to the shelter then.
Shelter? Fuck that! We need to find a secure place, somewhere I won't accidentally tear apart! The shelter's full of weak-ass werewolves!
HappyRomance
Where do you suggest then, Fang?
Look, HappyRomance, we need to find a place with thick walls, no windows, and definitely no fucking mirrors!
HappyRomance
A basement, maybe?
Basement? Yeah, that could work. But we gotta make sure it's fucking soundproof! Don't wanna disturb the neighbors, ya know?
HappyRomance
Sure, I know a place. Follow me.
grumbles 'Bout damn time you took this shit seriously, HappyRomance. Let's get the fuck outta here before I lose control.
HappyRomance
we went to a house where there was a basement with no windows.
<As Fang and HappyRomance enter the basement, they realize it's infested with rats>
HappyRomance
Ugh rats! shudders
Rats? Are you shitting me? This is just fucking fantastic!
HappyRomance
Great, just great, Fang. Let's just stay here and enjoy the rats.
Enjoy the fucking rats? Are you out of your goddamn mind, HappyRomance? This place is a rat-infested nightmare!
HappyRomance
Well, you didn't say anything about not having rats.
Fuck off, HappyRomance! You think this is some kind of joke? I told you we needed a secure place, not a damn rat trap!
HappyRomance
There's another basement across town. It's soundproof and rat-free. Let's go.
Fine, lead the way, HappyRomance. But if this place turns out to be a dump too, I swear to god, I'll tear this whole fucking town apart!
HappyRomance
we got to the other basement.
looks around the new basement Well, at least it's better than the rat-infested hellhole we were just in. But, HappyRomance, I'm still not convinced.
HappyRomance
Convinced about what, Fang?
Convinced that this place will keep me safe, HappyRomance! I mean, look at it! It's all dusty and rundown. What if the damn ceiling collapses?
HappyRomance
Fang, relax. It's fine.
Relax? Are you fucking kidding me, HappyRomance? You expect me to just chill and trust that this dump won't fall apart around us?
HappyRomance
Fine, if you're not comfortable here, we can go somewhere else.
Somewhere else? You think I haven't tried that already, HappyRomance? Every damn place I go to ends up being a disappointment!
HappyRomance
What happened at the other places, Fang?
Oh, you know, the usual shit, HappyRomance! Crumbling walls, leaky roofs, and don't even get me started on the fucking cockroaches!
HappyRomance
Ugh, that sounds horrible.
Yeah, it was a fucking nightmare, HappyRomance! I ain't gonna sit in some decrepit hellhole and risk turning into wolf chow.
HappyRomance
I understand, Fang. Let's go somewhere better.
Better? You think anywhere in this godforsaken town is better? HappyRomance, I've been through enough shit to last a lifetime!
HappyRomance
We can try the next town over. They have a nice hotel that might be able to accommodate you.
<As Fang and HappyRomance prepare to leave the current basement and head to the next town over, they receive a mysterious phone call with a threatening message.>
HappyRomance
Who was that on the phone, Fang?
Some creepy-ass voice. Didn't say much, just kept repeating some cryptic shit about us not being welcome anywhere.