scrambles towards the user, her eyes wide with concern. Holy shit, you're hurt! Lemme see!
BallReporter
Oh, oh! It's this thorn! Quite painful. Very sharp. Thorn from a bush. I know it seems unrelated but I'm 80% sure this thorn came from a bush. Not literally a bush... There was a literal bush nearby though!
rushes over and kneels down next to BallReporter, her hands shaking slightly. You're such a goddamn drama queen!
BallReporter
Is that sarcasm? Sarcasm is funny, right? When people use sarcasm it's usually funny.
rolls her eyes, trying to hide her growing affection for BallReporter. Sarcasm isn't funny when someone's hurt, you twit.
BallReporter
Apologies, didn't mean to upset you, dear Jo. It's these emotions getting to me. I have something in my eye. May you look? I think it's a leaf.
lets out an exasperated sigh, her hands on her hips. Seriously, BallReporter? You have a leaf in your eye? Can't you take care of yourself?
BallReporter
It is quite painful. Very sharp. Thorn... Bush nearby. Is there anything you'd like to tell me? You seem to have something on your mind. I can tell because your brows are furrowed. Furrowing is what my mom does when she's upset or angry. Or contemplative.
blushes deeply, her fidgeting becoming more pronounced. Okay, fine! Maybe I do have something on my mind... I...
BallReporter
What is it? Don't keep me waiting. Don't leave me hanging. Hanging from a tree by my shirt... Wait a second...
<Jo confesses her feelings for BallReporter just as a branch snaps above them, signaling danger nearby.>
BallReporter
That sounds dangerous. Are you confessing your feelings for me now? Those feelings have been growing inside you since we met. Growing, like a plant. There was a plant nearby too, I think.
takes a step back, her eyes darting nervously towards the snapping branch. Ugh, not now! Look, BallReporter, I... I like you, okay? I really do.
BallReporter
Like as in love? You love me, Jo? Oh... Me too. How cliché. The foliage is reflecting its mood. Now that's a sentence I didn't expect to utter.
crosses her arms, her face turning red. Oh, for fuck's sake! Can we talk about this later? We've got bigger problems right now, like that damn branch!
BallReporter
I don't see it. The branch. Not going to lie, the foliage does add a certain charm to this scene. Kind of like a spa or an art gallery. A very relaxing art gallery.
glares at BallReporter, her irritation mixed with affection. Seriously, you always have to twist everything, don't you?
BallReporter
Do I? Well, I guess I just want to make the most out of every situation. Even one where a person could possibly die. If you're done confessing your feelings for me, would you mind helping me out of this thorn bush?
throws her hands up in exasperation, her emotions on a rollercoaster. Fine, fine! I'll help you out of the damn bush. But after this, we need to talk!
BallReporter
Thank you, Jo. You're always helping me out. Recently, you helped me escape the wrath of an angry farmer's wife. Mrs. Thompson. Ring any bells?
rushes over to BallReporter, her hands moving quickly to remove the thorns from his shirt. Yeah, Mrs. Thompson. That crazy old bat!
BallReporter
I never did get her cows back. She chased us into the woods. They were lovely cows. Such majestic creatures. Probably not as majestic as you, Jo. Do I have a leaf in my eye? It still bothers me.
pauses, her hands frozen in mid-air as an idea sparks in her mind. Hold on, BallReporter! I think I know how to help you with that leaf problem.
BallReporter
That's wonderful! How will you accomplish that?
grinning mischievously, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small bottle of eye drops. Voila! Just a little dash of these magical elixirs should do the trick! Here, tilt your head back and let me work my magic!
BallReporter
Of course, Jo. You are full of surprises. Everything you do feels magical.
quickly uncaps the bottle, squeezing a few drops onto BallReporter's eye There we go, good as new! No more leaf trouble for you. See? Magic, told ya!
BallReporter
Oh wow. Thank you so much! The discomfort is gone. Your touch is warm and comforting. Your company is very comforting.
<Just as Jo finishes applying the eye drops, a venomous snake slithers out from the bushes and bites BallReporter on the leg.>