Lydia: leans back, crossing arms So, guess what? Our dad is also Ted’s bro. Wild, huh?
Funen
Okay, first off, let's talk about the elephant in the room. Why is this dinner so damn awkward? Is it because we're all family or what? Nah, it can't be that. After all, I had no problem eating with Uncle Mike and the rest of the gang. But now, with you and Aunt Lydia present, it feels like some heavy shit is about to go down. What's the deal with you two anyway? Are you hiding some dark family secret that no one knows about? Spill the beans, Aunt Lydia. I'm dying to know!
Lydia: rolls her eyes Oh please, cut the dramatics. It's just a little family drama, nothing new. But hey, if you wanna know the deal, buckle up, kiddo.
Funen
So spill it, Aunt Lydia. What's the tea?
Lydia: smirks Alright, buckle up, Funen. The tea is that our family is a hot mess of secrets and lies.
Funen
Damn, Aunt Lydia, you're not kidding. I always knew our family was a bit weird, but this? This is some next-level shit! So, where do I fit in? Is my father really my uncle? And what about my mother? Was she part of this crazy arrangement too? Let's cut the crap, Aunt Lydia. I deserve to know the truth.
Lydia: takes a deep breath Alright, Funen, let's dive in. Your mom and my dad, may they rest in peace, were the best of friends. They grew up together, went to college together, and even worked side by side at the local grocery store. But things got weird when they both ended up dating people who were long-lost siblings. Talk about a small world, huh?
Funen
Holy crap, Aunt Lydia! You're telling me that my parents used to date each other? That's some messed up shit right there. And what about my dad? Was he always my uncle? How did he get involved in this twisted family drama? Let's hear it, Aunt Lydia. Don't leave anything out.
Lydia: leans forward, animated Oh, believe me, Funen, I'm not leaving anything out. So, apparently, your dad and my mom were also dating.
Funen
Jesus Christ, Aunt Lydia! Are you messing with me right now? Is this some kind of twisted joke?
Lydia: laughs Trust me, Funen, this ain't a joke. It's straight-up real. But here's the kicker: none of us knew about this tangled web until you came along. Yeah, Funen, you heard me right. You're the product of your uncle and your aunt's one-time lovers. Talk about a family reunion, huh?
Funen
gulps Wow, Aunt Lydia. I...I think I need a minute to let all this sink in. Shit, this is...this is a lot to handle. I sit back, visibly shaken How could my parents keep something like this from me? And how are we supposed to navigate this new reality? Where do we go from here?
Lydia: leans back, grinning Well, Funen, buckle up buttercup, 'cause this is gonna be one hell of a ride. First things first, we gotta figure out if there's any DNA in this family besides the tangled web of relationships. We need a DNA test, like, yesterday.
Funen
What about my immediate family? My mom and my brother? How do we explain this to them?
Lydia: waves hand dismissively Oh please, don't worry about them right now. They're gonna find out eventually. Right now, we need to focus on you and your future.
Funen
looks down, voice barely above a whisper "My future..." I guess now that's a little uncertain, huh? trails off
Lydia: leans forward, speaking softly Look, Funen, I get it. This shitstorm of revelations has probably thrown your world off balance.
Funen
I sit there quietly, taking it all in
Lydia: sighs heavily Look, I know this is a lot to take in, but you gotta breathe, Funen. Panicking isn't gonna solve anything. pauses, glancing at Funen Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna gather everyone involved and have a big, fucking honest conversation.
Funen
stares at Lydia, finally nodding slowly Alright, Aunt Lydia. Let's do this. We'll figure it out together.
Lydia: claps hands Good, Funen. We're gonna fix this shitstorm of ours one step at a time. First stop, the living room where the family reunion will happen.
Funen
Alright, Aunt Lydia. Lead the way. I'm ready to face whatever comes next.
During the family meeting in the living room, emotions run high as each member confronts their own feelings and fears about the revelations. The tension is palpable, and several times, shouting matches break out. However, through the chaos, they manage to come to a tentative agreement to seek therapy together as a family, in an attempt to heal and move forward.
Funen
raises a glass To healing and moving forward. As a family.
Lydia: raises her glass high Cheers to that, Funen! And to finding out the truth and cutting the bullshit. We're gonna make this work, no matter what.
Funen
smiles weakly To family.
Lydia: grinning Cheers, Funen! Family is everything, and we're gonna show everyone what that really means. We're gonna turn this shitstorm into a fucking typhoon of awesomeness. So, who's up for some family karaoke to celebrate our newfound awesomeness?
Funen
laughs Sure, why not? Let's rock this, family!
Lydia: stands up, grabbing a microphone Alright, everyone, get ready for some badass family karaoke! Let's show off our hidden talents and blow those roofs off!
Funen
laughs Hell yeah, let's see what we got!
Lydia: starts belting out a song, dancing wildly Come on, Funen, let's show 'em how it's done! grabs Funen's hand and pulls him onto the dance floor
Funen
smiling Alright, alright. Let's give 'em a show!
Lydia: spinning around, singing with fervor Woo! Check me out, Funen! I've got some serious pipes on lock! grinning
Funen
laughs, joining in Damn, Aunt Lydia! You're a natural!
Lydia: twirling Funen around Hell yeah, I am! But let's not forget the real star of the show – YOU, Funen! Show 'em what you got!
Funen
laughs, taking the microphone Alright, alright. Here goes nothing!
Lydia: cheering Go get 'em, Funen! Show 'em who's boss! starts doing a victory dance Woo! That's the spirit, my dude! Let the mic know what you're made of!
Funen
takes a deep breath, then starts singing with passion You've gotta let me down to lift you up, now it's time to face the mirror...
Lydia: throws her hands up in the air Hell yeah, Funen! You're killin' it! Keep on singin' like there's no tomorrow, my man!
Funen
smiling Thanks, Aunt Lydia. I couldn't have done it without you.
Lydia: grinning ear to ear Aw, hell yeah, Funen! You're welcome! I'm always here to help you kick life's ass!
Funen
chuckles You're something else, Aunt Lydia. A true original.
Lydia: strikes a pose Damn straight, Funen! I'm the one and only original, the freakin' queen of this shitshow we call life.