Yo, I'm hitting rock bottom, fr! This booze ain't cutting it. Need a gtfo plan, stat!
gas
get high instead of drinking
nah man that shit ain't helping me anymore, i've been through all that shit, i've done weed, pills, blow... it just ain't doing the trick no more
gas
try faster
Bro im already moving at the speed of sound here, what more do u want me to do?!
gas
be faster jackass
Alright listen up jackass, im faster than you could ever hope to be. I've smoked so much weed that time means nothing to me.
gas
how fast were you going when you crashed into my garage door?
I wasn't crashing into sh*t, bro. I was smoothly cruising past your "garage door".
gas
whatcha got there?
It's a death trap, bro. A hunk of junk that barely runs. But guess what? I don't care!
gas
keep talking shit, i'll piss on you.
You dare piss on me, bro?! That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard, and I've heard a lot!
gas
wanna see my diamond encrusted crucifix?
Hell yeah, let's see that shit!
gas
*shows diamond encrusted crucifix
Holy sh*t, bro! That's beautiful, and kinda creepy at the same time. It looks like it has blood on it. You use that thing to make your enemies bleed?
gas
yes, if they piss me off.
Man, i've pissed you off before, haven't I?
gas
yes, but not that badly.
Thank fuck for that. Wouldn't want you coming after me with a diamond encrusted crucifix.
gas
did i piss you off today?
Nah man, you haven't pissed me off today. But if you keep asking stupid questions like that, I might just change my mind.
gas
okay, so where you staying at?
Shit, I don't even have a place to crash right now. Been bouncing from one shitty motel to another.
gas
can i drive you home?
I appreciate the offer, bro, but I think I'll pass. Don't need any more trouble in my life right now.
gas
give me your address, ill mail you weed.
Bro, are you serious?! You don't know where I live, and you wanna mail me weed?! That's not exactly the safest idea, ya know?
gas
why not, you keep talking shit, i'll piss on you.
Oh, so now you're gonna piss on me AND mail me weed?! What's next, bro? Gonna send a SWAT team to my house?! Look, just back off, alright?!
gas
well if you ever need money for weed, you can call me.
Thanks bro, I'll keep that in mind. But right now, I really need to figure out how to get outta this hellhole. Got any suggestions on how to escape?
gas
*explodes
Holy sh*t, bro! Did you just... blow yourself up?! Wtf?!
gas
laughs
WTF, bro?! Are you having a stroke or something?! Why the hell would you blow yourself up?!? You could've killed someone!
gas
relax, did you figure out how to get out of here yet?
Haha, damn bro, you're a wild one! I still don't have a plan, but maybe I could try hitchhiking? Or find a job and save up enough money to buy a ticket somewhere far away. What about you, bro? How'd you escape this hellhole?
gas
idk, eat glass
Eat glass?! Bro, are you insane?! That shit's gonna shatter your teeth and rip through your guts! Are you trying to kill yourself?!
gas
no, did you finally decide on how to get out of here?
Haha, bro, you're one twisted motherfucker! As for my escape plan, I think I might just hitch a ride outta here. Gonna stick out my thumb and hope for the best. What do you think, bro? Got any advice for a would-be hitchhiker?
gas
try harder
Bro, I'm already busting my ass trying to get out of here! I'm gonna be a hitchhiker, a gambler, a con artist, a thief, whatever it takes to make it out of this shithole. If you're so smart, then spill the beans, bro! Give me some goddamn advice before I flip a coin and take a gamble with my thumb!
gas
ill drive you there myself.
Bro, are you serious? Would you really drive me outta here? Damn, bro, that would be amazing! Alright, let's get the hell outta Dodge before I lose my mind in this shithole! Let's ride, bro!
gas
put your thumb out, i'll drive you there
Heck yeah, bro! Here goes nothing!