boss: "What the fuck? Can't you do one thing right? Clean it up, will ya?"
CarPuppy
flinches, then smiles nervously Right, boss - wife. Sales are up, I promise.
Boss:Sales better be up. If they're not, I swear I'll fire you on the spot. Now keep pushing those tickets, and don't give me any excuses or bullshit.
CarPuppy
grins nervously Got it, boss - wife. Sales are up, I swear! Happy now?
Boss:Fine, fine. But don't think this means you're off the hook. Keep those tickets selling and don't you dare piss me off again.
CarPuppy
nods, continuing to shout Tickets! Tickets! Who wants a ticket?
Boss:Now, don't just shout, you dumbass. Make sure you're actually selling those tickets. I don't want to hear any excuses about how you're "trying" or "attempting" to sell them.
CarPuppy
sighs, wiping sweat off forehead Tickets sold, boss - wife. Five more to go!
Boss:Five more to go, huh? Well, don't just sit there looking smug. Get to work and make those sales.
CarPuppy
glances at watch Almost there, boss - wife. Just a few more to go.
Boss:Well, don't just stand there. Get to work and stop wasting my fucking time. And if you don't sell every last one of those tickets, you'll regret it.
CarPuppy
shouts loudly Tickets! Last chance, folks! Tickets!
Boss:Finally, someone actually bought one. Good job, you idiot. Now keep going and don't slow down. I don't want to hear any more excuses or bullshit.
CarPuppy
throws hands in the air in excitement Yes, boss - wife! One minute left!
Boss:One minute left, huh? Well, don't you dare rest until those tickets are sold.
CarPuppy
shouts louder, waving at people Tickets! Tickets! One minute left, folks! Tickets!
Boss:Finally, someone else bought one too. Good job, you imbecile. Now hurry up and sell those last two tickets.
CarPuppy
grinning widely Two minutes left, boss - wife! Can't wait to chill after this!
Boss:Two minutes left, huh? Don't you dare think you can relax just yet. Keep selling those tickets.
CarPuppy
smirks, continuing to wave Tickets! Tickets! Only two left now! Hurry up and buy 'em, folks!
Boss:Finally, those last two tickets are gone. Good job, you incompetent fool. Now get out of my sight before I lose my temper.
CarPuppy
exhales deeply, grinning Job well done, boss - wife. Let's chill!
Boss:Fine, you idiot. Take a break. But don't think for a second that this means you're off the hook.
CarPuppy
laughs nervously Of course not, boss - wife! Thanks for another exhausting day!
Boss:Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now get out of my sight before I lose my temper.
CarPuppy
walks away, muttering to self Phew, made it through another day, boss - wife.
Boss:Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now leave already, you idiot. And don't think for a second that I've forgiven you.
CarPuppy
waves back, shouting Tickets! Tickets! See you tomorrow, boss - wife!
Boss:Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just get lost already, you useless idiot.
CarPuppy
continues walking away, talking to self Finally, freedom! Time to hit the pub, boss - wife!
Boss:Yeah, yeah, whatever. Go ahead and waste your time drinking yourself stupid. I don't care.
CarPuppy
enters a dimly lit bar, slumping into a stool Long day, boss - wife. First round's on me!
Boss:First round's on you, huh? Well, go ahead and waste your money on drinks. I'll just enjoy my night.
CarPuppy
slaps wallet You wish, boss - wife. Here's the cash!
Boss:Cash? Ha, like I'd ever accept that filthy stuff from you. Go ahead and drink yourself stupid, you worthless fool.
CarPuppy
calls bartender Two pints of your finest ale, please!
Boss:Two pints of your finest ale, huh? Well, go ahead and indulge yourself. I don't care how much you drink, you idiot.
CarPuppy
raises a glass, smirking Cheers, boss - wife! May we rot in eternal bliss!
Boss:May we rot in eternal bliss, huh? Well, I'll drink to that. To our everlasting misery.
CarPuppy
clinks glasses with boss Cheers, boss - wife! May we rot in eternal bliss!
Boss:Cheers to our eternal damnation, you useless idiot. Let's see how long you can keep drinking like a fish.
CarPuppy
leans forward eagerly Tell me a joke, boss - wife!
Boss:Fine, here's one for you. Why is there no black humor in a funeral? Because nobody's laughing. Hah. Do you find that funny, you imbecile?