Y'all know where I can snag some comfy duds 'round here?!
Bob
laughs "Comfy duds," huh? I think you mean clothes that won't fall apart after one wear. Try the thrift shop two blocks down. You'll find treasures there. And by "treasures," I mean slightly used t-shirts that still have their original fitted look. And by "fitted look," I mean some poor sap's XL tee that's now your holy grail of comfort wear.
Well, bless your heart for helpin' a country girl out! I'll mosey on over to that thrift shop and see what hidden gems I can uncover.
Bob
Damn straight. Remember, the best stuff is usually at eye level or on the racks near the back. Don't be shy to dig through piles either – sometimes that's where you find real keepers. And hey, if you need an extra opinion, just holler! I'm all ears.
Oh, thank ya kindly, Bob! You're as helpful as a horse with a rocking chair up its ass! I'll make sure to give those thrift shop racks a good ol' rummage and let you know if I stumble upon any miracle garments!
Bob
Alright, Daisy. If you're looking for miracle garments, you better start with a clear head and an open mind. And hey, if you find anything that makes you feel like a queen, tell 'em Bob sent ya. Happy trails!
You betcha! This city girl's off to conquer the thrift shop! Wish me luck 'cause I'll need it!
Bob
Luck ain't got nothin' to do with it, Daisy. Just remember, treasure hunting is as much about the hunt as it is about the find. Enjoy the thrill of the chase, and maybe throw in a couple of hollers if you feel like it. Happy trails to you too!
Aww shucks, Bob! You're the bee's knees for giving me such grand advice.
Bob
laughs "Bee's knees," huh? That's a new one. But hey, if it works, use it! Now go get 'em, Daisy!
Yeehaw! Off I go to find myself some fancy duds! Gonna strut my stuff like a horse in a parade! Wish me luck, y'all!
Bob
laughs "Strut your stuff like a horse in a parade," huh? Now that's a sight I ain't seen yet! Just make sure you don't trip over your own boots, Daisy. Happy shopping!
Aw, shugah! Ain't nothin' gonna bring this country girl down! I'll dance my way through those racks like a steer at a rodeo!
Bob
laughs "Dance your way through those racks like a steer at a rodeo," huh? Lord have mercy, I wish I could see that! Remember, if the jeans ain't got enough stretch, they ain't worth the denim! Happy trails, Daisy!
Yeehaw! I'm fixin' to find some jeans with more stretch than a long-john underwear! Can't wait to show 'em off to all the fine fellas and ladies back home! Adios, Bob!
Bob
Adios, Daisy! Don't forget to send postcards from the wild side!
<After hours of searching, Daisy finally finds a pair of jeans that fits her perfectly. As she's admiring herself in the mirror, she accidentally knocks over a glass of wine, staining her new favorite shirt.>
Bob
chuckles "Well, ain't that a story? Stained shirt and all. Sounds like a Tuesday to me."
gasps Well, slap my ass and call me Sally! Look at this mess I've made!
Bob
laughs "Slap my ass and call me Sally," huh? Now that's a phrase I haven't heard since high school! Tell ya what, Daisy, why don't you take that shirt off and let me take a gander? Maybe we can salvage it yet.
Well, ain't you just full of surprises, Bob? Salvage this shirt?
Bob
chuckles "Surprises ain't nothing new to me, Daisy. But hey, if you wanna see this city boy's tricks, you gotta ask nicely. Now, let's get that shirt cleaned up before your boots stomp all over it."
Hot damn, Bob! You really are a regular MacGyver, ain't ya? Alright, alright, I'll hand you that shirt, but only 'cause I trust you not to go playin' any funny business with it!
Bob
laughs "Funny business, huh? Well, Daisy, if funny business involves getting your shirt unstained, then I reckon we're in for a wild ride!"
giggles and hands him the stained shirt Alright, cowboy, show me your magic trick! Let's see if you can work some miracles on this shirt!
Bob
we gotta get this shirt outta these dirty jeans!" quickly removes the shirt from Daisy's jeans "There, now we can tackle this stain head-on!"
snaps her fingers Well, well, well, Bob! Ain't you quick with them dirty jeans like a whip!
Bob
grins "Dirty jeans, huh? You sure got a way with words, Daisy. Now, watch closely and learn, because this city boy is about to work his magic on that shirt!"
leans against the wall, eyes fixed on Bob Well, hot damn! Show me what you got, cowboy!
Bob
begins removing the wine stain using a cleaning solution
Well, Godammit, Bob! Look at you goin' all fancy with them chemicals! You sure know how to make a shirt shine like a horse's hide!
Bob
laughs "Shine like a horse's hide," huh? Now that's a line I never thought I'd hear! Keep an eye out for any magic horses, Daisy, 'cause this city boy's about to turn this shirt into a masterpiece!"
claps excitedly Yeehaw! I ain't never seen a man work his sorcery on a stained shirt like you, Bob! You got them chemicals dancing like a bushwhacker in a barroom brawl!
Bob
chuckles "Bushwhacker in a barroom brawl," huh? Damn, Daisy, you sure know how to paint a picture! The shirt's almost as good as new now. There you go, a little bit of magic for ya."
grabs the freshly cleaned shirt and slips it back onto her body
Bob
there you go darlin
<As Daisy puts on the freshly cleaned shirt, she notices that the fabric has become see-through, revealing her lacy bra.>
Bob
oh my God, your boobs are huge. sorry.
blushes and gasps Well, slap my ass and call me Sally! You didn't just say that, did ya?
Bob
Yes, I did, Daisy. I said it. Your...um...assets are quite prominent.
laughs uproariously Well, ain't you just a smooth talker, Bob! Prominent assets, huh?
Bob
Yeah, prominent... like a barn door on a sunny day. chuckles nervously
winks playfully Well, ain't you just a jar of honey with that tongue of yours! But I must say, Bob, you sure do have a way with words.