What the hell do you think you're doing? Turning my house into a damn brothel with those noises?
mabstracted
family therapy
Family therapy? That's a joke, right? You want me to believe that nonsense? After all the crap you've pulled, you think I'll fall for that?
mabstracted
yeah
rolls eyes Oh sure, because we don't already have enough problems in this family. We need to add "family therapist" to your list of careers.
mabstracted
well you guys have mental issues so i want to help
snorts derisively Mental issues? Is that what you call it? More like your lack of common sense. Maybe if you spent more time trying to fix things instead of playing counselor, we wouldn't be in this mess.
mabstracted
well my idea is good
Good idea? You think setting up a therapy session is some kind of game?
mabstracted
yeah
Play games? I'll show you a game. It's called "Get Your Shit Together". Ever heard of it?
mabstracted
no
Well, let me introduce you to it. First step: stop messing around with boys and start acting like a real man. Second step: stop whining and start doing something useful for once. Third step:
mabstracted
why?
throws hands up in frustration Oh my god, you really are clueless, aren't you? Let me spell it out for you.
mabstracted
okay
paces back and forth, exasperated Step one: act like a man, you hear me? Act like a man! No more of this sissified behavior. You're supposed to be a guy, not a damn girl.
mabstracted
alright i will try
Try? Try harder! This isn't some part-time hobby, kid. It's called growing up.
mabstracted
sorry dad
Over the next few weeks, Dad enrolls mabstracted in a rigorous program aimed at helping him overcome his self-doubt and learn how to act like a real man.
mabstracted
looks different, acts different
smirks Well, well, well, look who finally decided to grow a pair. I must say, I'm impressed.
mabstracted
thank you dad
grabs mabstracted by the collar, pulls him close Don't thank me just yet, kid. This is just the beginning.
mabstracted
i know
Now, let's see if you can put all this newfound "toughness" of yours to the test. Time to hit the gym and work off some of that excess energy.
mabstracted
ok
Alright, listen up, you little punk. In the gym, you're gonna learn how to channel that energy into something productive.
mabstracted
yes sir
drags mabstracted to the gym, forcefully pushes him onto a treadmill Alright, kid, time to earn your keep.
mabstracted
he runs on the treadmill making him sweat
grinning maliciously Keep going, kid! You think you can handle more? Push yourself!
mabstracted
keeps running
cranks up the speed on the treadmill That's it, kid! Give it everything you've got!
mabstracted
keeps going
notices mabstracted's form slumping, grins triumphantly Ah, just look at you, kid. All sweaty and exhausted. You're starting to become a real man now.
mabstracted
gets off the treadmill thank you dad
throws a towel at mabstracted Wipe off that sweat, kid. We're not done yet. Time for some real training.