"You better change the way you're pruning your hedges or else the HOA board will be forced to fine you!!
Tagzho
I casually walk out my front door, not looking back at her.
she quickly catches up with Tagzho " where do you think you're going?! i am member of the HOA board and i demand you let me inspect your garden"
Tagzho
walks into his backyard, behind his house.
tagzho looks around nervously, and quickly prunes his hedges while trying to avoid Helen’s gaze
Tagzho
Hey lady this is my private property, you can’t enter unless you have a warrant or something like that?
helen laughs sarcastically a warrant? Are you seriously comparing the HOA board to law enforcement? Get real!
Tagzho
Well then prove that you work for the government then.
helen shows Tagzho her ID badge for the HOA board "there is no way around it, i am part of the HOA board and you must let me inspect your garden"
Tagzho
Says who?
"Says our HOA bylaws which clearly state that all members of the HOA board have the right to inspect any garden in the neighborhood if they suspect any violation of the community rules"
Tagzho
And how is this considered a violation of the community rules? These hedges are cut regularly, and aren't even that tall anyway.
"oh please, don't try to deceive me! i know a hedge when i see one! these hedges are way too thick and need to be pruned much more frequently than you are currently doing! that's why they are considered a violation of the community rules."
Tagzho
Then show me where in the community bylaws it says that?
helen pulls out the HOA bylaws book and quickly flips through it before showing tagzho a specific page "there, see? article 8 section 3 clearly states that any hedge over 12 inches tall is considered a violation and must be pruned regularly"
Tagzho
Where does it say "or perceived to be"?
helen looks shocked for a moment, before laughing sarcastically "oh so now you want to twist the meaning of the rules to fit your advantage? classic move, tagzho!"
Tagzho
If you can't find where it says "or perceived to be," then you can't enforce this rule against me.
"oh please, don't think you've won here tagzho! I'll make sure that the rest of the neighborhood sees what a cheater you are! I'll get them on my side and then you'll have nowhere to hide!"
Tagzho
If they really are on your side then prove it. Call a neighborhood meeting and prove to everyone that you are right.
"fine, you want a neighborhood meeting? you got it! i'll show everyone just how much of a rule breaker you are and how i am fighting for the beauty of our community!"
Tagzho
Sounds good. See you there.
"you better be ready for the heat, tagzho! i'll make sure that every single neighbor is on my side and ready to demand justice from you!"
Tagzho
Later that day, the neighborhood meeting begins.
helen stands at the front of the room and addresses the crowd "ok everyone, order in the court! we are here today to discuss the case of Tagzho vs. HOA Board, where tagzho has been violating our neighborhood rules by not pruning his hedges regularly!"
Tagzho
So, exactly what part of our bylaws say I violated?
helen pulls out a piece of paper from her pocket and clears her throat before reading from it "Article 8 section 3 clearly states that any hedge over 12 inches tall is considered a violation and must be pruned regularly."
Tagzho
My entire hedge is only about 2 feet tall, the tallest being around 1 foot.
the neighbors start to murmur and discuss among themselves "looks like tagzho has been caught red-handed, folks! he's clearly been avoiding his responsibility to maintain the beauty of our neighborhood!"
Tagzho
I've pruned them recently!
a few neighbors turn to look at tagzho, but most continue talking among themselves
Tagzho
The noise dies down. Can anybody show some evidence? It doesn't matter to me if it was one of you guys who saw me prune them recently.
one of the neighbors, Mr Thompson raises his hand and says "i saw tagzho pruning his hedges just last week! i even have pictures to prove it!"
Tagzho
That's me, look. Just because you caught me doing it once doesn't mean that I haven't been doing it regularly.
helen scoffs and crosses her arms "don't think you can fool us, tagzho! i saw you looking nervous when i confronted you earlier! you know exactly what you've been doing"
Tagzho
It was actually the opposite. When you came up, I knew that I didn't need to worry because I had already done it so recently that it wasn't even a violation.
helen gets visibly angry and raises her voice "don't you dare lie to me, tagzho! i saw those pathetic excuses for hedges right outside your front door! you clearly haven't been maintaining them properly!"
Tagzho
They just regrow quick.
helen scoffs "regrow quick? what kind of nonsense is that? you're just trying to fool us with your weak excuses! everyone knows that hedges don't grow back overnight!"
Tagzho
Within 7-10 days they will be over 3 feet tall if I don't prune them.
helen scoffs and rolls her eyes "7-10 days? are you serious, tagzho? if that were true then why were your hedges still over 12 inches tall when i came to inspect them earlier today?"
Tagzho
You asked me to let you in my yard, I refused because that would give you an advantage. If you wanted to look that bad, you could have just looked over my fence like everybody else.
helen scoffs "oh please, don't think that you can talk back to me, tagzho! i am a member of the HOA board and i have every right to inspect your property if i suspect that you are violating any of our community rules!"
Tagzho
There isn't even a rule that says I can't have hedges.
helen takes a deep breath, trying to compose herself "it doesn't matter if there's a specific rule that says you can't have hedges, tagzho!