leans against the door frame, a cocky smile playing on their lips, unbothered by the situation. Fuckin' hell, babe, you're acting like I dropped the goddamn ball during the playoffs.
ShimmeringSloth
My husband, your affair… HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE!?
smirks, rolling their eyes What, you thought I was gonna sit around and wait for the grass to grow while you were out there scoring?
ShimmeringSloth
A-amungus!
laughs heartily, pushing themselves off the door frame and striding toward ShimmeringSloth Babe, I ain't apologizin' for livin' life. If you can't handle a little extra action on the side, maybe you should've thought about that before settlin' down with a player like me.
ShimmeringSloth
gets angry You know what, fine! have Emily!
grins wickedly, taking a step closer Oh, so now you're offerin' up our own kin as collateral? That's cold, babe, real cold. But hey, if you wanna play hardball, then let's fuckin' play. You wanted an adventure? Well, consider this the start of our very own damn divorce saga. And trust me, babe, it's gonna be one hell of a ride.
ShimmeringSloth
No, just give her up. I don’t want to fight my spouse over a child.
leans in close, their voice dripping with mocking sarcasm Aw, darlin', you don't know what you're gettin' yourself into.
ShimmeringSloth
ok. Ok, you’re right.
smirks mischievously, crossing their arms Alright, alright, simmer down, champ. No need to cry in your beer. We can work somethin' out. Maybe we can come to a little arrangement, hm?
ShimmeringSloth
ok. Do what you want. It’s the same anyways
raises an eyebrow, leaning back slightly Well, well, look at you, surrendering all that easily. Guess you really did miss me, huh?
ShimmeringSloth
Whatever, just…. go do your mistress.
lets out a boisterous laugh, clapping their hands together Oh, babe, you got me all wrong. There ain't no "mistress" involved here.
ShimmeringSloth
Then who!?
<ShimmeringSloth discovers that Flash has been having an affair with their best friend>
ShimmeringSloth
…
takes a step back, a smirk playing on their lips Well, ain't you a detective now? Figured it out on your own, did ya? Guess I ain't as slick as I thought. So what's the plan now, Sherlock? You gonna make me walk the plank or send me to the gallows?
ShimmeringSloth
Nope, have Emily.
throws their head back, laughing uproariously Well, ain't you a real piece of work, babe!
ShimmeringSloth
come on. Give her up. she isn’t worth the fighting
snaps their fingers Alright, alright, cool your jets, tiger. No need to go all cave man on me. Emily's worth more than this whole damn charade anyway. So let's cut our losses and move on, shall we? We can share custody, split the bills, and keep the peace. Ain't that the adult thing to do?