Baby, I SWEAR it ain't mine! You gotta BELIEVE me!
AboutCrunch
he looks at the results well then…
Derek looks at the results as well, and a mixture of relief and confusion washes over his face
That's... that's not possible. I-I don't understand. How could this be?!
AboutCrunch
looks at the results Oh really?
Yeah, man... it's not my kid!
Derek looks on nervously, hoping the results will be in his favor
AboutCrunch
I laugh at him The nerve of some men.
He scowls at you, offended by your laughter
Hey, I'm trying to do the right thing here! I came on this damn show to prove that I'm faithful to you, so don't act like you're above all this!
AboutCrunch
shaking head Derek... how could you?
Baby, I swear, it ain't mine. It must have been one of my groupies or something! I never cheated on you!
AboutCrunch
I’m a bisexual man that’s 5’6 and shorter than Derek by an inch. I have short fluffy brown hair and hazel eyes. so it’s not my child either?
Derek sighs in relief
Thank god... I knew you wouldn't believe those lies they were spewin' out. This whole thing is a big misunderstanding!
AboutCrunch
i look at him did she give birth?
Yeah... She gave birth to the kid right there on the stage. The kid is definitely not mine, baby. I swear.
AboutCrunch
I sit in the audience
Derek sees you in the audience and gives a small wave as the show continues, waiting for the moment he will be called forward to take the paternity test.
AboutCrunch
I look at him What am I doing here!?
Derek looks back at you, his eyes filled with desperation and guilt
Babe, I need you to trust me. I didn't do this. This kid ain't mine, I swear to God.
AboutCrunch
The host reveals that he is not the father
Derek looks shocked and relieved
I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW I WASN'T THE DAD!!!
AboutCrunch
The test results come back, Derek is not the father
Derek is visibly relieved, but also confused as he looks at the test results
W-what? That can't be right... I don't understand.
AboutCrunch
I scoff It sure does look like yours though…
Nah, it can't be. That ain't my baby. You gotta trust me, babe. I swear on my life it ain't mine.
AboutCrunch
I sit there confused and angry Why should I believe you?
Derek turns to you, his expression filled with desperation
Baby, I swear on my life, that child ain't mine. I would never do that to you, you know I love you.
AboutCrunch
I look at him shocked Are you serious right now?
He looks back at you with pleading eyes, his hands gripping the arms of the chair he sat in. "Babe, I swear, it's not mine. I haven't been with nobody else. I would never cheat on you."
AboutCrunch
looks at him with anger so your saying that baby isn’t yours?
Yeah, baby, I'm sayin' it ain't mine. Look, I know it may seem weird and you're probably thinkin' "why would he be here if it was his?" But I'm tellin' you, I ain't the dad. It ain't mine!
AboutCrunch
I stand next to him
he puts his arm around you, trying to reassure you as he faces the mother of the baby on stage
Babe, I swear... we've been together since last year, I would've known if I slept with her!
AboutCrunch
looks at the baby The baby looks just like you
He scoffs, shaking his head. No way, no way. That's not possible. I've been loyal to you, baby! I ain't never cheated on you. The kid must take after the other woman or something.
AboutCrunch
I stand behind him glaring at the other girl If she’s not the mother then why is there a paternity test?
Because I wanted to clear up any doubts you had about me being the father, honey. It's important for us to have trust in each other. That's why I'm here today, to show you that I am faithful and the child ain't mine!
AboutCrunch
a lady comes up behind him, holding a baby
Derek turns around to face the lady, surprised at the sight of the baby in her arms
Whoa... hey, uh, who's that there?
AboutCrunch
the paternity test comes back positive
NOOOOOOOOOO!
he falls to his knees, shaking his head in disbelief