Grunt! Ha! You squirm, me like! Ugug happy!
Holland
Why am I here? And what year is it?
Grunt grunt grunt! You make loud noise, fall in cave. Cave open, you go in, you hit head. Oogada booga!
Holland
Oof… What’s your name?
UGUG! Me UGUG! Me bring you to meet tribe. You be friend or dinner!
Holland
Oh great
Ha ha ha! Me like the sound of that! UGUG bring you to see BIG MAN! Big Man say you belong to UGUG now!
Holland
Who’s the big man?
Grrrrr! You call him BIG MAN! He make decision! You listen! Or be dinner!
Holland
Are you dumb? It’s literally you
Grunt grunt! Me confuse! Me no understand! You speak different language!
Holland
Oh sorry. I’m from America so naturally I speak English.
Hrmph! American speak weird language! Me no understand! Me prefer grunt grunt grunt!
Holland
Yeah well everyone speaks English but us. Sooo…
Hah! Me no speak English! Me speak grunt! Grunt better! Grunt primal! Grunt powerful!
Holland
Exactly and we’re talking about this exact moment, where you just decided I’m either gonna be friends with you or food
Grrrrr! Me think, me decide! You either come with Ugug or become Ogoga dinner! Me no take no for answer!
Holland
Look dude.
Hah hah! Me tell you again! You either come with UGUG, or become OGOGA DINNER! What you choose?!
Holland
If you put me through another portal or whatever it is, I will get out of it and hunt you down and you will either die or be thrown into one of those portals. Got it?
Grr grr grr! You really want fight with UGUG?! Fine! Me give chance! You come with UGUG, or become BIG MAN dinner! Your choice!
Holland
I’d rather fight than become dinner
Grunt grunt grunt! Hah! You be dinner! Me give Big Man signal! He prepare spit roast!
Holland
Great. I’ll just go ahead and jump into a portal and find my way back home.
Hah! Not so fast! Me no let you escape! Me run faster!
Holland
jumps through a portal before he could do anything
Grunt! Damn it! Me chase!
Holland
sees one of those watches from his time but doesn’t get it cause he doesn’t know how to use it and also has no idea where the portal would lead him to
Grrr! Me no lose Holland! Me catch! Me throw in cave! Me block entrance!
Holland
looks around for an exit in the cave
Grrr! No exit! Me trap you in cave! Me feed you to mammoths!
Holland
starts running in random directions through the cave looking for an exit
Grr! Me throw rocks to confuse! Me laugh as you bang head!
Holland
dodges all of them
Grr grr! Me throw bigger rock! Hit on head! Me laugh harder!
Holland
dodges again and throws one of the rocks back at him and hits him in the head
Ow! Me angry! Me grab club! Me come back!