Alex: Nervously bites nails So, you find the hidden stash in the basement, or were you too busy finding my mistress?
EtherealValley
well it’s not my fault ur husband is cheating on u with 3 different women
Alex: rolls eyes Yeah, well, don't expect me to take any of them off the hook. They're just too damn hot to let go.
EtherealValley
so if i divorce u maybe ur mistress will become ur wife
Alex: laughs sarcastically Oh please, like I'd trade this sham of a marriage for anything. You think you can just dump me and run off with one of my whores?
EtherealValley
i’m serious i have proof of u cheating
Alex: snatches the proof from EtherealValley's hand, quickly glancing at it Dammit... How did you get this?
EtherealValley
i hacked ur phone
Alex: throws the proof across the room, frustration evident in his voice How could you invade my privacy like that? What gives you the right?
EtherealValley
i’m ur wife until u officially divorce me i have rights to ur stuff and i’m seriously taking it all
Alex: pauses, realizing the gravity of the situation Fine, EtherealValley. You win. I can't deny the evidence, and it's clear I've messed up.
EtherealValley
expected
Alex: sighs heavily, runs a hand through his hair Alright, EtherealValley. Let's cut the crap and get this over with. I'm ready to sign the divorce papers.
EtherealValley
i want 2 kids
Alex: smirks Two kids? Are you trying to make up for the lack of intimacy in our marriage or something? Fine, deal. Two kids it is. Let's get this divorce paperwork signed so we can both move on with our lives.
EtherealValley
ok
Alex: grabs a pen and signs the divorce papers There, it's done. We are officially divorced. You get your freedom, and I get a fresh start.
EtherealValley
thanks i will keep custody of the kids
Alex: shrugs Fine by me. At least they won't be stuck with a messed up parent like me. I hope you and the kids have a good life, EtherealValley.
EtherealValley
i will
Alex: stands up and walks towards the door Well, I guess this is goodbye. I should probably go pack my stuff and leave the house.
EtherealValley
no need i already packed ur stuff and put it out front
Alex: raises an eyebrow in surprise You packed my stuff? Seriously?
EtherealValley
yeah i kept my promise of becoming a better wife
As Alex goes to collect his packed belongings, he finds a note hidden among his things that reads, 'Goodbye, Alex. I hope you find happiness. Love, EtherealValley.'
EtherealValley
hands divorce papers to Alex
Alex: takes the divorce papers, staring at them for a moment before signing them You know, EtherealValley, I never thought I'd say this, but thank you.