Mom: holding the baby, eyes wide This ain't your brother’s, it’s his bastard son! Can you believe this mess?
offensivem
I was in my room mom what’s going on
rushes into offensivem's room, holding the baby Oh, you wanna know what's goin' on?
offensivem
umm yeah?
throws the baby onto offensivem's bed Well, buckle up, kiddo, 'cause we got ourselves a goddamn family scandal on our hands! Turns out this little stinker ain't your precious brother's kid after all! He's been doin' dirty business behind our backs!
offensivem
mom are you sure
rolls her eyes dramatically Honey, I may not have a degree in forensic science, but I'm pretty damn sure I know a baby when I see one!
offensivem
I’ll take a DNA test if you want but okay
snatches offensivem's phone Oh, you think you're funny, huh? Let's see how funny you feel when I take away that snazzy new game you were so desperate to play.
offensivem
fine
starts scrolling through offensivem's phone Hmm, so you think you're all grown up and can keep secrets from your ol' mama, huh?
offensivem
why did you take my phone
holds the phone out of reach Sweetie, you think I'm just gonna let you play dumb with me? Nah, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this mess, even if it means reading all your dirty texts!
offensivem
…
grinning mischievously Oh, you didn't think I wouldn't find those naughty messages from your friends, did you?
offensivem
whatever
Offensivem reluctantly agrees to take a DNA test, revealing the truth about the baby's paternity. The revelation leads to a major fallout within the family.
offensivem
After a week or so we got the DNA test and the baby wasn’t mine
stares at the DNA test results, eyes wide with shock Well, I'll be damned! Looks like we got ourselves a little family traitor on our hands! This here baby ain't offensivem's blood at all! What the hell was his real dad thinkin', leavin' his sorry ass behind?
offensivem
so what now
throws the DNA test onto offensivem's bed, exasperated Well, ain't that a damn fine question! Looks like we gotta find this mysterious dad and hold him accountable for his little mistake! We can't just let him disappear like he never existed.
offensivem
and how do you propose we find this mystery man
grabs offensivem's shoulders, shaking them excitedly Oh, honey, let me tell you! We're gonna start by asking around, makin' some phone calls, and maybe even goin' door to door in the neighborhood! We gotta turn this whole town upside down if we have to! And trust me, I got connections - people in this community who owe me favors. We'll have that mystery man found in no time!
offensivem
alright let’s start asking around
grabs her keys and rushes towards the door Alright, let's get this show on the road, kiddo! Time to shake the bushes and see if we can stir up some information.
offensivem
we walk around the neighborhood asking if anyone knows where the mystery man is
taps her foot impatiently Come on, folks! Anyone seen a mysterious stranger wanderin' around here? A man with a wild look in his eyes and a penchant for leaving behind a trail of baby mama drama? Well, spill the tea, grandma! Don't be shy, we're all friends here! Neighbor 1: scratches their head Can't say I've seen anyone like that around here, but if I do, I'll be sure to give 'em a piece of my mind! Mom: Perfect! We appreciate the tip, ma'am! Keep your eyes peeled, and let us know if you see anything suspicious! Neighbor 2: suddenly points towards a nearby house Hold up, there's a fella standing outside that old Victorian place. Looks like he's been there for a while. Could that be him? Mom: grabs offensivem's arm and pulls them towards the house Let's go, kiddo! We might've struck gold!
offensivem
we approach the house
knocks loudly on the door Alright, mister! We know you're in there! It's time to come clean and own up to your responsibilities!
offensivem
the mystery man opens the door
narrows her eyes, ready for a confrontation Well, well, well, if it isn't the world's greatest deadbeat dad! How the hell did you manage to evade us for so long? Looks like you thought you could hide from us forever, huh? Think again! cracks her knuckles menacingly Mystery Man: laughs smugly What's the problem, folks? Can't handle a little truth? The kid ain't mine, and that's that.
offensivem
I throw the DNA test at him
throws her hand up in frustration Ain't none of your damn business! That baby ain't nothing to do with me! I ain't the father, and that's the end of the discussion! slams the door shut and storms back inside Mom: shouting through the closed door You mark my words, mystery man! I'm gonna make sure you regret the day you ever thought about messing with our family! We're not done with you yet!
offensivem
I nod and put my arm around mom it’s ok mom don’t worry I’m here for you
breathes heavily, trying to calm down Yeah, yeah, I know. Just... it's just that... it's like these assholes think they can do whatever they want, and we gotta clean up their damn mess! It's frustrating, you know? starts pacing back and forth But listen, sweetie, we can't let them get away with this.
offensivem
I hug her do you need a moment alone
pulls away from offensivem's embrace Nah, sweetie, I don't need no moment alone. What I need is a plan. We gotta teach this mystery man a lesson he won't forget. It's time to take matters into our own hands and show him that messing with our family comes with consequences. starts pacing again, deep in thought Alright, here's what we're gonna do. First, we gather evidence.
offensivem
ok
claps her hands together Alright, listen up, kiddo! Step one in teaching this deadbeat a lesson is gathering all the dirt we can find on him.
offensivem
I nod
starts rummaging through her bag Now, I know you're a tech-savvy kid, so you can handle the digital side of things.