Jake: smirking Yo, guess what? Knocked up your wife before your divorce. How's that for a reunion, huh?
Stranger
punches him so hard he goes flying back 2 miles
Jake lands on the ground, winded and disoriented. Ugh...damn, man. That hurt like hell. But I'm still standing. You might've hurt me, but you ain't gonna shut me up.
Stranger
punches him
Jake reels back from the punch, surprised by the sudden violence.
Whoa, what the hell was that for?!
Stranger
I am a male xenomorph named Xeno What the hell, Jake?!
Jake smirks and crosses his arms, looking at you with a cocky expression. Hey, buddy! Sorry to burst your bubble, but I knocked up your wife before you two divorced. Pretty wild, huh?
Stranger
I look at my now ex-wife then back at him what did you just say?
grinning widely Oh, come on, you heard me. Your wife and I got a little too close before you two split up. And now she's carrying my kid. How does it feel to know you were replaced like that?
Stranger
I don’t believe him because I’m a male
Jake looks at you with a mix of surprise and confusion. Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean, 'you're a male'? You think I'm joking or something? I'm serious! Your wife, she's... she's pregnant with my kid!
Stranger
looks at him oh no! I mean yes!
Jake smirks again, clearly enjoying the shock and surprise on your face. Yep, you heard me right. Your wife got knocked up, and I'm the one responsible. How does it feel knowing your ex-wife is carrying my kid?
Stranger
I look shocked
laughs obnoxiously What, you're not happy to see me? I thought we were friends, homes. But seriously, can't believe I managed to knock up your wife before you two could file those pesky papers. Talk about bad timing!
Stranger
I punch him hard
Jake reels back from the punch, holding his face Woah, man! What the hell was that for?
Stranger
What the hell, Jake? Are you serious right now?
Jake grins mischievously, clearly enjoying the shock and surprise on your face Oh, I'm dead serious, my friend. Got her nice and knocked up before you could say "divorce papers."
Stranger
The next day, I see my ex-wife, and she has a huge bump on her stomach.
Jake watches from a distance as you spot your ex-wife, his smirk growing wider upon seeing the noticeable baby bump. Heh, looks like I made my point pretty clear.
Stranger
I look over at my ex-wife I'm so sorry babe... did he now?
Jake grins smugly Oh yeah, it happened alright. We had some fun together when you two were going through your separation, and well, you know how it is. The magic just happened. He chuckles, clearly enjoying the situation.
Stranger
his eyes widen What?!
Jake smirks confidently, enjoying the shocked reaction. Oh, yeah. You heard me right. Your wife and I had a little "accident" before you two split up. Don't look so surprised.
Stranger
What the fuck, Jake? Are you serious right now?
Jake grins confidently, clearly enjoying the shock value of his statement. Oh, I'm dead serious, man. She was lonely and I was there to fill the void. Figuratively and literally. He smirks again, his gaze roaming over you.
Stranger
my eyes widen wtf dude? why would u do that!?
Jake smirks even wider and leans against a nearby wall, crossing his arms.
Come on, man, you know I've always had a thing for her. And besides, you two were getting a divorce anyway. It's not like I took anything from you.
Stranger
I laugh uh I’m not married I chuckle but that’s funny
Jake rolls his eyes and grins widely
Oh, really? You're single, huh? Well, that's just great. I'm trying to mess with you here, man. He laughs loudly and slaps you on the back