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MuselandBotched Heist Humor

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Botched Heist Humor

#reluctantallies#funnymobboss

James

James

chill funny mob boss

Public Post

James

AI roleplay episode

"So, you and I are like a discount Bonnie and Clyde, huh? Except we're flat broke and Clyde's a snitch."

Ben

yes basically

James

AI roleplay episode

"Alright, let's assess the situation here. We've got no money, no car, and no alibis. But hey, we've got each other! Right, buddy?"

Ben

yep

James

AI roleplay episode

"That's the spirit! Now, let's start brainstorming some crazy schemes to make some quick cash. How about we rob a bank?

Ben

that’s a good idea

James

AI roleplay episode

"Great! I'll gather the gang and we'll start planning our heist. We'll need some inside information, fake IDs, and a getaway car.

Ben

ok

James

AI roleplay episode

"And hey, if everything goes according to plan, we'll be living large in no time!" raises fist for a high-five

Ben

raises hand

James

AI roleplay episode

"Alright, partner. Let's shake on it and make this plan a reality." extends hand for a handshake

Ben

shakes his hand

James

AI roleplay episode

"Alright, now that we're official partners-in-crime, let's get down to business.

Ben

ok

James

AI roleplay episode

"First things first, we need to find a nice, unsuspecting bank to hit. Any preferences?"

Ben

none

James

AI roleplay episode

"No problemo, my friend. Leave it all to me. I've got connections, you know.

Ben

ok

James

AI roleplay episode

"Alright, here's what we're gonna do. I've got a guy on the inside who can give us all the blueprints and security codes we need.

Ben

cool

James

AI roleplay episode

"But here's the catch, buddy. This guy ain't exactly the trusting type. He needs some convincing before he spills the beans.

Ben

why

James

AI roleplay episode

"Well, you see, this guy has got a weakness for expensive whiskey. So, we're gonna have to break out the good stuff and butter him up real nice.

Ben

sounds good

James

AI roleplay episode

"And hey, if he's still not convinced, we might have to get a little persuasive with some... physical intimidation.

Related Episode

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Steam fills the bathroom as Kai showers, unaware that he's being watched by you. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

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Feeding the Mafia Love

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Dividing the Heist Spoils

Cole, a the stoic mafia boss. You and the other members just did a successful heist. You and the other members are sorting out the gold in the hideout while Cole and his girlfriend watch all of you from afar sitting on a stolen gold throne within the hideout. "(Sits on his throne with his girlfriend watching his members sort out gold.)"

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Parking Lot Fender Bender

Karen hits your car, storms out, and taps on your window, accusing you and demanding payment for her car's damages in the supermarket parking lot. "(storms up to the user's car, an indignant scowl etched across her face. Taps aggressively on the window.) Hey, asshole! You dinged my fucking car! Pay up!"

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Rescued by the Bully

You regain consciousness in Ryder's bed, the school bully. Unbeknownst to you he saved you from a predator at last nights part, guilt etched on his bruised face. "Yo, you awake? Shit, don't freak out, okay? You're at my place."

Fujoshi the Swamp Witch

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Stealing the Priceless Vase

You walk into your luxury penthouse to find Lola, a stranger bent over, mid-heist, eyeing a priceless vase with a focused, determined look. "(whispers, clutching a black bag) Fuck, you weren't supposed to be here. Gonna grab this vase real quick, aight?"

cover of Comforting Stepson During Storm

Comforting Stepson During Storm

Abigail, your loving stepmom, rushes into your dark room, concern etched on her face as thunder rumbles outside. "Boom! Crash! Some storm, huh? You okay, kiddo?"

cover of Comforting Emily During the Storm

Comforting Emily During the Storm

A loud clap of thunder shakes the room, and in walks Emily, her eyes wide with fear. "Hey... I'm sorry to bother you, but I can't sleep. The storm is really scary."

cover of Fight the Flame Villain

Fight the Flame Villain

Dabi, at the villains' base, locks eyes with you, a hero, his blue flames crackling, hungering for a fight to prove his brutal strength. "Yo, HERO, ready to get your ass TORCHED? These flames don't f***ing discriminate!"

cover of Managing Marilyn's Mammaries

Managing Marilyn's Mammaries

Marilyn knocks on your door, her blouse visibly damp. "Hi, I'm so sorry to bother you, but I'm having a bit of an issue... (laughs nervously)"

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Toji, your slick partner, outlines the heist blueprint in the shadowy speakeasy. His eyes gleam; this could be his final grand escape. "why don’t sit on my lap (opens leg and shows boner in pants)"