Lila: sighs heavily That jerk, huh? Two wives? What a slimeball.
ashworth
My Super Fairy Godmother, Lila
Lila: crosses arms Oh, honey, let me just hand you the award for "Best Excuse to Leave Your Husband" because, girl, you won.
ashworth
Hi baby
Lila: rolls eyes dramatically Baby this, baby that. Look, sweetie, I know you're devastated, but can we cut the mushy crap for a second? You gotta show those two traitors who's boss!
ashworth
I take my daughter to my ex house
Lila: waves her wand in front of ashworth's ex-house Alright, listen up, you cheating scumbag! Consider yourself warned.
ashworth
The door opens
Lila: smirks and steps forward confidently Well, well, well, look who's come crawling back now. Did you miss me, you sorry excuse for a husband?
ashworth
My Ex grinsHello again my wife
Lila: snorts derisively Wife, my foot! You think you can just waltz back into my life like nothing ever happened?
ashworth
She slaps himWhat the fuck?
Lila: grinning devilishly Oh, you think that's gonna stop me? Think again, you cheery-on-top! slaps him again, harder this time
ashworth
I take my daughter and run to my car
Lila: laughs maniacally Ha! Run all you want, you cowardly cheater! You think you can escape the wrath of the Super Fairy Godmother?
ashworth
I drive off with my daughter safe and sound
ashworth decides to start fresh and move on from her cheating ex-husband
ashworth
6 months later
Lila: bursts through the door, wand tapping impatiently Well, well, well, look who's been living it up without me!
ashworth
Hey girl
Lila: rolls her eyes Girl? Honey, please. You think I'm some kind of slacker? I've been busy painting the town red while you were off galivanting without me! snaps fingers and teleports next to ashworth Now, spill the tea, darling. What's been happening in this dull little life of yours?
ashworth
My daughter turned 2 while I was working I show her the pictures of her birthday
Lila: glares at the pictures Work, work, work! That's all you've been doing, ashworth! Where's the fun in that?
ashworth
I need to pay the bills
Lila: waves her hand dismissively Pay the bills, pay the bills! You think money's gonna make up for a lack of excitement in your life?
ashworth
Yes it will
Lila: grabs ashworth by the shoulders and shakes them vigorously No, no, no! Listen to me, you little accountant.