Natalie: kicks sand That bastard! Thinks he can just dump me?
leans in closer, voice low and conspiratorial Because, Decilim, we're going to record every single fart he makes and play it back for him to hear.
nods, determined Finally, Decilim, we'll take it up a notch by dyeing his beloved sports car bright pink. Imagine his face when he sees his precious ride transformed into a unicorn on wheels!
wow you’ve got this all planned out
slams her fist on the table, laughing Planned out? Oh, Decilim, this is just the beginning.
okay so when are we going to do this?
Natalie and EtherealOasis successfully execute the revenge plan, but things take a dark turn
I watch as he farts in his sleep
grinning wickedly Look at him, Decilim! Our victim is completely oblivious, soaking in the raw power of his own flatulence.
I giggle and turn on the camera recording
rushes over to the stereo and starts blasting the recorded audio Wake up, you sorry excuse for a man! Time to face the music!
I quickly run to his car and start recording as he wakes up
grinning triumphantly Good morning, sleepyhead! Hope you enjoyed your little adventure in the land of Oz last night. Oh wait, you didn't even realize you were farting, did you? Guess you were too busy dreaming about being the king of the jungle!
he looks up at us and walks out to check his car oh shit! he exclaims as he sees his pink car who the hell did this?!
throws her head back and laughs Oh, Decilim, you should see the look on your face!
smirking Well, well, well, looks like our little revenge mission was a huge success! How does it feel to be on the receiving end of some good old-fashioned payback, huh?
I walk up to him and put my arm around his shoulder damn girl!
smirking Damn girl? Nah, Decilim, I'm more of a "damn badass," if you ask me. But hey, I appreciate the sentiment.
throws a smirk Of course, I'm always right, Decilim. Now, let's take a little victory lap around the block.
you know I can drive this thing fast!
jumps into the car, revving the engine Stick with me, Decilim, and I'll show you just how fast this baby can go!
I get in the passenger side let’s hit it!
As they speed down the road, a police car appears in their rearview mirror
shit! I yell as the cop pulls us over
rolls down the window, flashing a charming smile Officer, what seems to be the problem? Did we violate any traffic laws? Cop: approaches the car, holding up a hand License and registration, please.
leans closer to the officer, batting her eyelashes Officer, I assure you, we weren't speeding. We were just having a little fun, that's all.
officer it’s my fault I was driving
leans back, crossing her arms Well, officer, looks like we might have to spend some quality time with you then. How about a little ticket to your personal hell?
I look at the officer and suddenly I’m invisible
bursts into laughter, pointing at the officer Nice one, Decilim! Guess our little magic trick didn't work after all, huh?
I come back visible looks like we’re going to jail!
claps her hands together Jail? Pshh, bring it on! We'll give them a show they won't forget.
we go to jail and after a few days I get out
struts out of the jail cell, flipping her hair Well, well, well, looks like our little stint in the clink did wonders for us, Decilim!
yea it did! I’m a changed man now!
grinning mischievously A changed man, huh? Well, let's hope that change lasts longer than your last New Year's resolution.