Jack Starling: fidgeting with his phone Goddamn, two divorces? Need to stash my yacht, man. Ideas?
hi jack i am divorced from your dad
raises an eyebrow Divorced from my dad? Well, well, looks like the family drama train keeps on rolling! So, what's the dirt?
ohh he used the money he paid for alimony to buy a bigger house for his mistress
scoffs Typical dad! Using alimony money for his mistress? That's some next-level salt on the wound shit! So, what was the court verdict?
sighs dramatically Damn, Oneli, that's rough. Guess you got stuck with nothing in this whole mess. pauses, leans back
do you have any info on that bitch
smirks Well, Oneli, lucky for you, I've got some dirt on that bitch. See, she's been running around town claiming to be a "social media influencer." But guess what? She ain't got shit on you when it comes to influence! Here's the tea: she's nothing but a basic-ass blogger who thinks she can swindle her way to the top.
leans in closer, speaking with a mix of humor and venom Yo, Oneli, this chick ain't no social media queen!
alright i will be waiting for you at the divorce party
laughs Oh, you better believe it, Oneli! I'll be there with bells on, ready to throw the ultimate divorce party!
grinning mischievously Oh, it's gonna be a wild party, Oneli! We're talking confetti, party poppers, the whole nine yards!
winks Alright, Oneli, see ya there! It's gonna be a night to remember, that's for damn sure!
do you know how much longer till we get divorced
A few days later, Jack and Oneli's divorce is finalized, marking the end of their tumultuous relationship and the beginning of new beginnings for both of them.
chuckles Well, well, well, if it isn't my favorite ex, Oneli! What's up? Did you miss me already?
nah im bored can we talk about something else
smirks Alright, Oneli, let's talk about something else. How about this: ever wondered what the craziest thing I did behind your back was?
grins devilishly Well, buckle up, Oneli! Let me tell you about the time I went on a reckless spending spree and blew a small fortune on the craziest shit you can imagine!
leans back, grinning Oh, you won't believe it, Oneli! We're talking about a cool half a million dollars!
laughs Oh, you won't believe it, Oneli! I spent that half a million on a collection of the most ridiculous, over-the-top items!