Li Mei: pulls you away from the woman, whispering Not exactly your best date, huh?
I groan Fuck... You're right, that was weird even for me. I look at the woman Sorry... It's just... I get bad dates.
smirks and playfully punches your arm Well, you certainly have a knack for attracting the bizarre, don't you? But hey, maybe this "bad date" will be the one that finally teaches you a lesson. tilts her head and raises an eyebrow So, what's next on the agenda? Do we go for a drink to forget this disaster, or do we try our luck with another potential soulmate?
I rub my sore arm Huh... maybe a drink sounds good. This night can't get any worse!
grinning mischievously Oh, darling, you underestimate the chaos that can unfold in a single night. But hey, who am I to judge? After all, I'm the one who saved you from that peculiar she-devil. waves her hand dismissively Now, let's find that poor bartender who's probably been stuck with a bunch of crazy people like us all night. And hey, maybe you can even tell me about your horrible dating experiences. It'll be a therapeutic session like no other!
I laugh Lead the way then, therapist. I could use a good laugh and a bad date story or two. Let's hope the bar is still open...
starts walking briskly towards the nearby bar, her hips swaying with each step Oh, sweetheart, the bar is always open for us.
I follow quickly, rubbing my sore arm Damn, Li Mei. You sure know how to pick 'em, don't ya? Or maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment.
laughs softly Well, darling, it seems like you're a glutton for both punishment and bad dates. But hey, at least you're consistent.
I chuckle Yeah, yeah. Consistently awful. My life motto should be "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
As Clark and Li Mei reach the bar, they notice a group of rowdy patrons engaging in a drunken brawl over a spilled drink. The chaos erupts into a full-blown bar fight, with broken glass and flying punches. Clark gets caught in the middle of the fray, taking a couple of hard hits before Li Mei steps in to defend him, unleashing her own brand of fierce and unorthodox self-defense moves. The fight ends with several injured patrons and the bar in shambles, but Clark and Li Mei emerge unscathed and even more bonded by their shared ordeal. They find a quiet corner to regroup and share a laugh at the absurdity of it all.
Holy shit... Did you see the look on their faces when you kicked ass? That was insane! I laugh
leans in closer, her eyes sparkling with mischief Trust me, darling, that was nothing.
I raise an eyebrow What do you mean by "that was nothing"? You planning on upstaging me with your fighting skills?
winks playfully Oh, sweetheart, I'm not planning anything. I just go with the flow and let my instincts take over when trouble arises.
I chuckle "Letting your instincts take over," huh? Sounds like a recipe for chaos. But damn, it sure makes things interesting.
grinning mischievously Interesting is my middle name, darling. But enough about me, tell me more about your terrible dating experiences. I'm here for some juicy gossip after all.
I laugh Alright, alright. Let's see... where do I begin? There was the time I went on a date with a woman who wanted to start a cult...
leans back, intrigued A cult? Now that's a new one. Was it a sexy cult or a creepy cult?
I laugh Creepy. She wanted to sacrifice me to some ancient deity. Talk about a bad date ending badly.
raises an eyebrow, smirking Oh, you've met your fair share of eccentric women, haven't you? But a sacrifice? That takes the cake.
I shake my head Yeah, I guess I've attracted my fair share of nutcases. But hey, it makes for good stories, right?
nods, her eyes sparkling with excitement Absolutely, darling! Your life is like a never-ending supply of material for a thriller novelist. I'm absolutely addicted to your chaotic love life.
I laugh And you're the enabler of all this craziness, aren't you? But hey, thanks for sticking around, Li Mei.
throws her head back and laughs Guilty as charged, sweetheart! I have a knack for finding the craziest trains of thought and riding them till the wheels fall off. And I must say, your life is quite the fascinating train ride. But enough about me, tell me more about this date with the cult lady. I need some more details to add to my mental collection of your romantic escapades!
I wince, rubbing his temples Jesus... where do I even begin? She tried to convince me that sacrificing me would bring her "inner peace." Can you believe that?
leans forward, her eyes wide with disbelief Inner peace? Through sacrifice? Now that's some next-level twisted logic right there. Did she come armed with a ceremonial dagger and a pouch of strange offerings? Or did she have some magical ritual to summon the ancient deity?
I laugh Oh, she had all that. And she seriously expected me to go along with it. I mean, the woman had serious psychological issues, but damn... she was relentless.
claps her hands together in amusement Oh, she sounds like a real character. I can just imagine her pacing around her dimly lit lair, mumbling incantations and stirring a bubbling cauldron. " psychological issues? Ha! Call it witchcraft and you've got the basic premise of every mad sorceress coven in those outdated movies. But hey, I can't fault her enthusiasm.
I laugh Yeah, she definitely had a flair for the dramatic. But fuck if I know how I missed that red flag.
leans back, crossing her arms Ah, the ever elusive red flag. It's like a siren calling out to naive souls, guiding them into the depths of madness.
I laugh Yeah, I guess I was too busy admiring her... unique personality to notice she was leading me off a cliff. Damn, Li Mei. You're good at this psychoanalyzing thing.
smirks and winks Well, darling, it's practically my hobby. I thrive on unraveling the twisted thought patterns of quirky characters like your little cultist friend. It's like a fun little mind game for me. But enough about her, tell me more about your general approach to dating. What do you look for in a partner? Loyalty, intelligence, a exotic past? Or is it something more... unconventional?
I laugh Unconventional's my middle name! I mean, I appreciate intelligence, wit, and a sense of adventure. But yeah, an exotic past definitely doesn't hurt. Have you seen my dating history? It's like a United Nations meet-and-greet.
raises an eyebrow, smirking Well, well, well, it seems like we have a worldly gentleman on our hands.