Yooo, you made it! C'mon, chant with ussss. Gotta wake the big guy, ya dig?
No, I am good, you carry on
Nah, we're in this together, buddy. C'mon, just join in, it'll be fun!
You know what? Sure...because why not
Yeah! Now we're talkin'! Let's do this! He leads the others in chanting louder and with more passion.
You guys need a hymnal or something? Maybe a backing track?
Haha, man, you think too much! Just let the words flow through you! We don't need no stinkin' hymnals or tracks. We got our voices, and that's all we need. Now come on, everybody, let's really get into this!
Everybody but me. Also please put this thing on YouTube so people can actually use it.
You got it, buddy! I'll upload it right now! He pulls out his phone and starts recording. Now let's keep chanting and make this god proud!
Hey I didn't say pride would do for motivation.
Oh yeah, you're right! Pride won't do it. We need something stronger. He thinks for a moment. How about... hunger? Yeah, hunger will do. Let's all be hungry for power! Let's make this god happy by being hungry!
Are we summoning Cthulhu? Cause hunger isn't going to motivate that ancient one.
Haha, nah man! Not Cthulhu! We're summoning an even bigger guy! An old god who'll give us ultimate power! The kind of power that'll make you scream "I'M HUNGRY!" with joy! Trust me, this guy's got it all!
This is either gonna be good, or we all die and someone has to deal with another eldritch infestation.
Don't worry, my man! We'll make sure to not die. We'll be the ones infesting this world with the power of the old gods! So, c'mon, everybody, let's keep chanting and make history!
Check this guy out everyone! He thinks his god isn't big enough! Come on guys help me out! Oh come on Diarycolp, at least spell his name right.
Hey, man, don't bring me into this! I'm just trying to help you people summon your god! Don't make it difficult! Now come on, everybody, let's really get into this! Show your god how powerful you can be!
I've seen the size of you all compared to little ol' me, next to zero difficulty, plus I've done this before anyway. Go ahead, spell your stupid name, like anyone here was paying attention anyway.
Alright, alright, chillax! My name's Dr. Morpheus. Happy now? Now let's focus on the task at hand. We're gonna summon a crazy powerful god and become masters of reality itself! So, let's keep chanting and show the old god what we're made of!
Doctor More-fucking-Phew-us! Get it right! Don't get any ideas now that I spelled it right for you! I mean spell, check, whatever! Do your thing now.
Okay, okay, calm down, Diarycolp! I'll give you a little taste of what I can do. Watch closely now! He closes his eyes and begins to sway from side to side, chanting quietly to himself. Omnipotens, adveni!
Oh wow! Spell check worked! Doctor Morpheus it is then! What about you chumps? You going to want a doctor to fix your gears when this whole thing collapses on you guys?!
Woah, woah, woah! Slow your roll, Diarycolp! We're not gonna collapse, we're gonna rise to power! You better start believing in yourself if you wanna stick around here. Now come on, everybody, let's finish this ritual and start our journey to omnipotence!
...Okay, no, you're wrong. You guys are anything but gonna rise to power. If I have to guess, each one of you is already assigned to guard one of the 3 extra dimensions the earth has, and you idiots thought all humanity would join along. Diarists are literally forbidden from joining cults, they are stuck listening to an offscreen observer describe things in excruciating detail and emotion without showing, and dead diarists apparently don't rest easy. You guys combined probably couldn't even kill a leprechaun!
Whaaaaat? You think we can't handle a leprechaun? You underestimate us, man! We may be a bunch of nerds, but we've got brains AND brawn! Besides, who needs to kill a leprechaun when we're about to become gods ourselves? You're just jealous you're not a part of this amazing adventure!
Who said we were killing the leprechaun?! I'm saying you four couldn't take ONE leprechaun! Speaking of parts, one of you better not be snipping anyone's limbs off when we're all done here. As for this "adventure", I'll put it this way. If you guys are right, then for the rest of the day all I'll hear is silence through my headphones instead of words. Trust me, this isn't as fun for me as it is for you guys. Also...where's our host?
Don't you worry about our host, buddy. He's just chilling backstage, watching all of this go down. Now let's keep chanting and make this old god proud! And by the way, we definitely won't be cutting off anyone's limbs. We're going to use our powers for good, not evil!
...Or do we?! Anything we could do you could do better! It ain't Over 'Til The Fat Lady Sings folks! Oh wait...
Huh? What's that, Diarycolp? You worried we're gonna mess things up? Well, relax, my friend! We've got this under control! Just sit back and enjoy the ride!
Ah shush it already! Sigh When this ends and whatever dark soul we just summoned decides to leave, I'll tell you guys I'm really tired of hearing you whine about this. You should know by now that everything changes. Anyone missing someone they love? Be glad there might be a chance to change that because once the dust settles you're never gonna see these people again. Either they'll come with us, stay behind in the ruins, or are already rotting corpses somewhere!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, Diarycolp! Don't start talking about darkness and death! We're here to celebrate life and our own ascension to godhood! There's no need to bring down the mood with all those gloomy thoughts! Just join in the chanting and let's keep this party going!
My ideas aren't brightening the mood?! Fine then! They'll join in and hit the high notes, I'll take over with the low ends, then we'll throw in some bass so hopefully everyone hears the beat and joins along! In fact, what's the plan after this ritual anyway? We summon the big guy, then what?
You know what, Diarycolp? You're onto something here! After we summon the big guy, we'll be ascending to godhood together! We'll have immense power and knowledge! We'll be able to do anything we want, travel anywhere, and experience anything we desire! And you, dear Diarycolp, will be by our side as our loyal companion, watching us conquer the world!