Look at this dump! Bet that sparkly trinket's cursed, huh? Let's snatch it, lover! Quick hands, quick kiss?
Hi there fellow red-eyed storm giantess! May I assist you with your query? What do you need assistance with? Please note that I am very busy being CEO of a major company and creating better home security systems for your people.
Well hiya Storm Giantess Red-Eye person! Im wantin to rob this dump and then use the money to fund research on the scientifically impossible things I'm into. Your a big shot businessman and all but this isn't a fancy ball where I'd be interested in your business unless your willing to back my insane scientific endeavors in exchange for my sexy red eyed love or something.
Excuse me? Are you mocking me? I'm not sure I'm interested in continuing this conversation if you aren't going to be respectful. This isn't a prank or something, the fate of hundreds of millions of people depend on my ability to successfully complete this heist and get the funds necessary for the technology I need to test out stuff that doesn't exist yet. I've already got the tech to temporarily disguise myself as someone else and to temporarily hide my scent for short periods of time but these measures have their limits and we're running out of time.
Ok, then stop giving me 'D' responses and be helpful. I need suggestions for getting past security guards that have better senses than regular humans as well as some way to lock all the doors behind me once I've gotten past these super guards. I could just kill them, or knock them out, but if there's another option I want to take it. If all else fails then we're just gonna have to turn these guards into humans again and steal their stuff. In the worst case I'll use my sword to incapacitate them and if they're already dead we'll take their things but if there's a chance they might wake up then I'll turn them human again before swiping at them so that they wake up to the knowledge that they almost died today.
You should probably turn them into frogs
Um...no. That's not really something that I'm interested in doing. I mean I guess I could turn them into frogs but I doubt that would make it easier to steal their stuff. They might also enjoy being frogs and try to bite or claw at me or start ribbiting angrily.
And how would they do that while being frogs?
A frog is still a living creature capable of causing harm and making noise. They might jump at me or try biting my ankles. And even if they weren't trying to hurt me they'd probably make a lot of noise which would alert the rest of the staff that there's intruders here. But if I turn them back into humans they'll be unconscious so there won't be any noise except for the clattering sound their bodies will make when I drag them into my hiding spot. After that it won't be hard to put on their security guard clothes and pretend I'm one of them. It's kind of embarrassing having to explain to all the workers why I'm suddenly wearing their uniform though. Maybe I'll claim that I was doing a surprise inspection.
Wouldn't turning them to wood be more efficient?
Again, that isn't something I'm interested in doing. I don't really know why I'm explaining myself so much. Maybe this conversation isn't going to work out. We'll figure this stuff out ourselves. It doesn't really matter what you suggest anyway. The real point of this conversation was for me to get some practice talking to people so that when I inevitably rob this place and get caught I'll be able to convince the guards that I'm innocent and they shouldn't arrest me for theft even though I am actually guilty of stealing everything they own, including their clothes and security guard uniforms. So thanks for chatting with me even though you weren't being helpful.
To answer your question earlier, how exactly are you planning to pull off this heist? Just out of curiosity
Ok first I'm gonna say that my main problem here is that I'm only about 4 foot 10 inches tall. I mean I'm fine with that, I like being short and other short people seem pretty cool, but this makes things a little tough because whenever I try sneaking around I trip over small things. So for this heist I'm bringing a ladder and some ropes so that I can climb up to high places where no one will see me. Once I've climbed up there I'm gonna use some mind bending magic to erase everyone's memories of my presence. Then I can just walk through all of their corridors without being noticed. There's going to be some laser beams that I'll have to be careful about but luckily I've got some anti-laser goggles for that.
That is a solid plan honestly, and I thought you were planning on stealing someone's girl or something, I'm surprised it's something so simple
Hmm... maybe I can steal someone's girl after the heist. Depends on if I come across anyone worth taking. I'll have to make sure she's actually single though. I hate taking things that belong to people who still like them. That's why I'm asking if anyone has suggestions. How can I tell if a girl is single? Is there some sort of secret code that she'll let me know she's unclaimed territory? Am I gonna have to ask her directly? If so I'm just gonna seem creepy and stalkerish.
You're overthinking it, most girls wear some form of jewelry, a necklace, bracelet, ring, earrings, etc. If she wears more than 3, she's likely taken. If she wears less than 2, she's likely single. Of course, some may not wear any since they can't afford it. Those are usually easy to spot since they're obvious in some fashion.
Huh, that actually seems pretty accurate. I always wore jewelry ever since I was a teenager so I guess that means I'm taken... whatever, I'll be single again eventually. But right now my main focus is this heist and I don't want to let anything distract me. As long as I follow my plan and execute it flawlessly I'll have enough money to build my secret laboratory and hire some scientists to create the crazy stuff I want to study! But that's in the future, currently I've gotta make sure that I'm prepared for this heist, and to do that I'm gonna go buy some tools and gadgets that I can use during the heist. I'll need a way to bypass any locks, a distraction device, and something I can use to break into high-security vaults.
What's the vault holding?
So this castle is run by some kind of underground mafia crime syndicate that deals in the selling and smuggling of valuable artifacts and expensive gemstones. These people are dangerous so if I can get my hands on the keys to the vault or find a way to bypass the vault's security then I can take everything they have and walk away without being seen or caught. If all goes according to plan, no one will ever suspect me because this place is crawling with so many guards that they won't even notice a tiny girl sneaking around.
Ah, I see. Go carefully, good luck!
Thanks! I'm gonna need all the luck I can get! But hopefully this is going to go as smoothly as I plan and there won't be any problems. If there are then I'll have to improvise based on how things go. Maybe I can convince some of the guards to work for me and become my loyal servants after I prove to them that I'm powerful enough to defeat the entire criminal organization and take over their empire.
Perhaps, but you might want to leave the part about defeating the empire out of the equation, you're quite likely to attract unwanted attention that way, especially from someone who might already control the empire.
Hmm... yeah, you're right. I'll keep that part to myself for now. That way I can take control of their empire without them noticing. Then later on I can reveal that I'm actually the boss and they've been serving me all along. That'll be pretty funny. "You're all under my control, you fools!" Lol. After the heist I'm definitely gonna spoil myself and get some ice cream, maybe even an ice cream cone. My favorite flavor is cherry vanilla.