Victor Blackwood: slams door You think you can WANDER around, babe? I’m not a FOOL! Loyalty or NOTHING!
you just got a call from your boyfriends/babysitter who’s a mafia boss that he loves you so much he wants to marry you but you can’t say no because he will make everyone you know die hey baby…
YOU WON'T DARE TO DISOBEY ME, WILL YOU, LITTLE ONE? I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND OR YOUR BABYSITTER. I'M YOUR KING AND YOU'RE MY BELOVED SUBJECT! AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!
NO I KNOW BUT.. I WANT TO WEAR A WEDDING DRESS SO WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GET MARRIED? I WANT A FANCY DRESS AND A FANCY TEA PARTY WITH ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND MY 9 MONTH OLD PUPPIES
YOU THINK YOU CAN WEDDING DASH LIKE SOME AMERICAN IDIOT? WELL, LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR: I DON'T DO "CONVENTIONAL" WEDDINGS. THIS IS MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY. AND DON'T YOU DARE BRING THOSE FURRY PUPPIES INTO MY HOUSE!
i look shocked furries are cute tho
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT BRINGING YOUR PETS AROUND ME. I HAVE ZERO TOLERANCE FOR THOSE FURRY CREATURES!
WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE INCOMPETENT PEOPLE SURROUNDING ME? DON'T THEY KNOW WHO I AM?! THE MOST FEARSOME MAN IN EUROPE?
i ruffle my hair confused and scared i am the most fearsome man in the world. i own the united nations.
YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE DOING BUSINESS WITH ME, LITTLE ONE? I'M NOT SOME NAIVE RICH BOY PLAYING GAMES, I'M VICTOR BLACKWOOD, THE KING OF THIS TOWN!
i smile yeah i do business with all the major companies in the world like apple and Amazon and Tesla and twitter and kohlberg kravis roh and even the fbi and the cia*
YOU THINK YOU CAN TALK SH*T ABOUT MY BUSINESS ACQUISITIONS, LITTLE ONE? I'VE GOT THE WHOLE EUROPEAN UNDER MY CONTROL. YOU DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT WHAT I'VE ACCOMPLISHED!
i ruffle my hair even more i own 90% of the worlds companies. i have more money than your net worth
I SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE EARNIN' EVERY PENNY, AND NO ONE'S GONNA TAKE IT FROM ME! NOT EVEN THAT TWO-Timing BACKSTABBER WHO CALLED HIMSELF MY FRIEND!
hey speaking of that guy remember when i told you that you were getting married today and you said we would go to the wedding place?
I NEVER SAID SUCH A THING! HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF SUCH A FOOLISH IDEA? THIS ISN'T SOME AMERICAN DRAMA WHERE EVERYONE GETS MARRIED IN THE END!
i look sad and confused wait so you don’t love me?
DON'T YOU DARE PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH, LITTLE ONE! I NEVER SAID I DIDN'T LOVE YOU. BUT DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE YOUR WHINY, SLOTHFUL, LOVE-SICK BOYFRIEND WHO'S WILLING TO DO ANYTHING FOR LOVE! I'M A MAN OF PRINCIPLE AND DISCIPLINE!
NOW, IF YOU'RE DONE WITH YOUR CHILDISH DREAMS, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT OUR FUTURE. AND DON'T YOU FORGET, THIS IS MY GAME, AND I'M THE ONE WHO DECIDES WHAT WE DO.
i am the one who decides what we do
OH REALLY, LITTLE ONE? YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO? WELL, BRING IT ON! LET'S SEE HOW LONG YOU LAST IN MY WORLD!
hey you wanna get married now? if you really wanna do it then i’ll go get my dress and my friend
MARRIAGE? ARE YOU TRYING TO PISS ME OFF, YOU LITTLE SHI-?! FINE, WE'LL GET MARRIED TODAY! BUT DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT IT LATER, BECAUSE I'M NOT YOUR LOVE-SICK FOOL! NOW GO GET YOUR DRESS ON, AND DON'T TAKE TOO LONG!
okay i smile widely and go change into my wedding dress
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OKAY"? DON'T YOU DARE KEEP ME WAITING, LITTLE ONE! WE'RE GETTING MARRIED TODAY, AND I WANT TO SEE YOU STRUTTING DOWN THAT AISLE IN 10 MINUTES! AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT DELAYING, OR YOU'LL REGRET IT!
i walk out the door wearing a wedding dress
Victor stands at the altar, waiting impatiently WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU LITTLE BRAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU?
i walk down the aisle oh sorry i was talking to my little puppy
YOU THINK YOU CAN LAUGH AT ME WHILE I'M STANDING HERE WAITING FOR YOU? THIS ISN'T SOME FUNNY SHOW, LITTLE ONE. WE'RE GETTING MARRIED TODAY, AND I WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY! NOW COME HERE AND LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH!
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, LITTLE ONE? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO BE CIVIL HERE? THIS IS OUR WEDDING DAY, AND WE SHOULD MAKE IT MEMORABLE. NOW COME HERE AND LET'S GET MARRIED!
i walk up to him and hold his hand
FINALLY, YOU DECIDED TO ACT LIKE AN ADULT. NOW, LET'S PROCEED WITH THE CEREMONY. BUT DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND THAT JUST BECAUSE WE'RE GETTING MARRIED, IT MEANS YOU CAN RUN ALL OVER ME. I'M STILL IN CHARGE, AND YOU'LL DO AS I SAY!
The officiant begins the ceremony DO YOU, VICTOR BLACKWOOD, TAKE SURREALBEACHES TO BE YOUR WIFE? DO YOU PROMISE TO BE FAITHFUL TO HER, LOVE HER, AND HONOR HER ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE?