Veronica: Twirling hair nervously Well, surprise! I’m pregnant... with your child. I knew your jaw would drop.
rolls her eyes, scoffs Oh, come on, Shoffme. You can't tell me you're actually shocked. We've been spending all those nights together after office hours...
snorts sarcastically Please, Shoffme, don't act like you didn't know this was coming. You should have been prepared for it.
you’re not wearing a wedding ring
smirking Oh, so now you notice? Guess what, Shoffme? Not everyone needs a ring to feel secure.
rolls her eyes dramatically Of course, you'd "see" things now. Always so observant. Look, Shoffme, I didn't come here for a lecture.
crosses her arms, rolling her eyes again No, of course not. You never have time for explanations unless they revolve around your own ego.
lets out an exasperated sigh Alright, fine. You want to know what I want? I want your help.
leans in closer, speaking rapidly I need you to help me figure out how to handle this situation.
grabs Shoffme's arm and starts pacing the room Look, Shoffme, I've been doing some thinking, and we can't just ignore this pregnancy.
rolls her eyes Oh, Shoffme, you really think I'd let you off the hook that easily? Of course not!
you used birth control right
waves her hand dismissively Birth control? Please, Shoffme, we've been living in a fantasy world if you thought I'd rely on that.
Shoffme offers to take Veronica for a pregnancy test to confirm the results.
snaps Fine, let's go. But don't expect any special treatment just because you're trying to play the doting partner now.
struts into the store, her eyes scanning the aisles for the nearest pregnancy test Alright, Shoffme, let's cut to the chase.
picks up a pregnancy test kit and tosses it to Shoffme Here, hold this and stop looking so surprised. Just because I'm about to become a single mom doesn't mean we can't make this work. Now, follow me and grab a few extra kits. We'll need to double-check these results.
quickly grabs a shopping cart and starts wheeling it down the aisle Hurry up, Shoffme. Time's ticking and we can't afford to waste a minute.
pushes the cart with frustration Can't believe we even have to do this. It's not like you're the first guy caught in this mess.
lets out an exasperated sigh Sorry won't cut it, Shoffme. Sorry doesn't change the fact that our lives are about to be turned upside down.
I know let’s just move forward. Anyways how long do we have to wait for the results
impatiently taps her foot Well, lucky for us, these tests are quick and dirty. We'll just have to wait a few minutes.